Ask Sam letter

Asker

To Sam

my only friend is my dog

hi i am 14 i losted my mum when i was 12 i miss her lots

well i had lots of friends but when my mum died i lots all of my friends because i keep on pushing them all way i was not thinking that the time i just wonted to be on my own with my dog but now i wish that i did not do that i wish that i had my mum back home is ok well sometimes my dad does not wont to talk about her well i only have my dog to talk to about everythink about mum ,school and home school is ok but they give me to much homework i hate homework  well home is home i wish that i could talk to dad about everythink but its so hard to do so

well i dont know what to do about everythink can u help me or give me so avice that would be nice if you could

thanks all the best

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there

I’m so glad you thought of writing to me. You’ve been through a lot in the last few years and I can hear how tough it has been for you since your mum died.

It’s very hard when someone who you love dies. It fact, it can feel almost impossible to find the words to describe how painful those feelings of loss can be. The death of someone you love can affect you for a long time. There is no magic formula for when you should stop feeling the loss. It’s not unusual to feel like you want to be left alone after someone dies. When your world has been turned upside down, it can be hard to be with people who are going about their lives as they’ve always done. Your dog has been a good companion to you, through some very hard times. It sounds like things have got to a point where you’d like to have friends again and be able to tell your dad what’s on your mind.

It sounds like you think about your mum a lot and sometimes want to talk about her. It sounds like it’s frustrating when your dad doesn’t always want to talk about her with you. Now you’d like to know what steps you can take to make things better. You mentioned having lots of friends before your mum died. Are you still in touch with any of the people that you used to be friends with? If you are, do you think you could try speaking to one or two of them, and explaining how you’ve been feeling? It might be that they don’t realise you’d like to start seeing more of them again. You might also want to think about writing a letter to them. Sometimes it’s easier to write our feelings down, instead of saying them out loud. Perhaps you could write a letter for your dad too?

If you haven’t seen it already, our website has a section called 'when someone dies'. Also, we have message boards where young people post comments to support one another, including one particularly about bereavement. There are also other organisations that provide specialist support available for young people who have lost someone close, such as Winston’s Wish.

It would be great if you could talk to a ChildLine counsellor about this. You can contact us by calling free on 0800 1111, logging on for a 1-2-1 chat (like instant messenger) or by sending us an email. The most important thing I hope you can take away from this letter is having found ChildLine, you’re no longer alone.

Take care

Sam

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