Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Confusion on abuse

When i get in trouble sometimes my dad hits me in my leg, arm, body, and face. I had gotten a bruise a couple of times,andmy dad has done this a couple of times. I get in trouble a lot and my dad cause me names, like im stupid, or wrong in the head, and that he cant wait for me to leave the house. But i do know that my dad loves me and cares for me, im just confused on if thisis physical abuse and if i should get help. I dont have a phone to call anyone cause it was tooken away.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

It's never okay for someone to hurt you, no matter what's happened. Your parents are supposed to be there to look after you. Whether they’re hurting you physically or hurting your feelings, it’s not okay. When this happens a lot it's called abuse, and it’s against the law. You should feel safe at home and not be worried about what might happen if your parents decide you've done something wrong.

Physical abuse is when someone hurts you on purpose. Even if it doesn't cause a bruise or an injury, it’s still abuse. Some kinds of physical abuse don't leave any marks or bruises. Whether it only happens sometimes or all the time, it's still wrong and it's actually against the law.

If you’re being abused it's really important that you don’t ignore it. It can be tempting to try and forget about what's happening to you and push the feelings down. But if you ignore the abuse then you might begin to feel like it’s normal and not realise how bad it's getting. A good way of keeping track of the abuse is to keep a diary. Write down what’s happened to you, and when it happened, and a few words about how it made you feel.

If you have injuries it's important that you talk to a doctor or a nurse. If you ignore injuries - especially head injuries – it can be very dangerous.

If you’re not ready to tell someone what’s happening at home, then that’s OK, but you still need to make sure your injuries get treated. You can always call the NHS 111 service for advice.

It's also important to think about how it makes you feel. Physical abuse doesn’t just affect us on the outside. It can make some people have bad thoughts about themselves. They may not feel normal or like they can’t socialise with other people.  Or it might affect things like your sleep and how you eat.. It can have a lot of different effects, which you might not notice at first.

Talking to someone is a good first step to getting help for physical abuse - you can do that confidentially by calling or chatting to one of our counsellors. It's free and they won't tell anyone what's happening, as long as the abuse is not threatening your life. You did really well taking this step to talk to me.

Thanks for sending this letter, take care.


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter