Ask Sam letter


To Sam


hi umm its currently 12 10 am and I'm writing because I'm fostered and Christmas is always hard for me i feel alone like I don't fit in anywhere, like nobody wants me or loves me.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Christmas time can often be viewed as a happy time, a time when people spend time with loved ones. But for many people, Christmas can be an upsetting time, sometimes surrounded by those who hurt you or away from your family and friends.

When you listen to people speak about Christmas, whether that’s on TV, people you know in real life or in films, it’s often spoken about positively. This can make people feel a lot of expectation to be happy at Christmas, but for lots of different reasons Christmas can be a difficult time.

There can be a lot of focus of spending time with family during Christmas, but for people who don’t see their family, had a family member die or lives in an abusive household, it can be a difficult time. Living in foster care at Christmas time can mean different things for different young people. For some young people, it can mean they don’t spend any time with their family, for some it can mean they can spend some time with family but have to go back to foster care, and for others it can mean something else. Not being able to spend time with your family can be upsetting and especially if other family members are able to spend time together. It can make you believe you don’t belong anywhere, or no one cares about you, even when that’s not true, with the right support it can help you to know that you’re cared for and do belong.

The reason you’re in foster care is personal to you, but there are many others who have also gone through what you’re going through. Both your social worker and foster parents should be aware that Christmas time can be a difficult time for people who are in foster care. If you feel able to, it may be helpful to talk to them about how you’re feeling. If there are any other children in care with you, you could also speak to them to see how they cope with special holidays and being away from their families.

The Childline message boards are a place where you can talk to other young people who are in a similar situation and they can talk about what being in foster care is like and can all share what helps them feel better at this time of year. Sometimes, that can even just be talking to others on the boards.

Childline understands that any day can be a difficult day for a young person and there are Childline counsellors there 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to listen and support, even on Christmas day.

Take care,


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