Dear Sam, In the past i have had a lot of trouble with my Mother and her drinking alcohol. She has not been in touch for 5 months and its really made me sad she bought me a Easter egg and she said she got me Christmas presents which i have not received . Yesterday, i had a text asking for me to call her. I called her and she sounded as if she had a drink i asked her a few questions it was nice to talk to her but it wasn't nice in a way. i have had this voice in side my head saying nice and mean stuff to me and i have been having some panic attacks and i feel really scared when they happen. I would like some advice please Thank you very much!
Sam
Hi there,
If your parent has a drinking problem it can affect the whole family, including you. Even if they don't live with you it can be hard to see them going through difficult times. They might also become unreliable or say and do mean things. Whatever happens, it's important to remember it's not your fault and even though your mum may need help herself, it's still not okay to treat you badly.
Alcohol is something a lot of adults enjoy. Most people can drink without any problems, but some become addicted, which means it's hard for them to control how much they drink.
When someone is addicted to alcohol they are sometimes called an alcoholic. If your mum is an alcoholic she might not always be putting other people first. Forgetting important days and holidays is a sign that she might not be herself right now.
Your mum might need some help, but this isn't your responsibility. You need to look after you. I can see the things your mum says and does are really affecting you. Panic attacks and anxiety are signs that you may need more support.
Who you get support from is an important decision to make.
Try to think about who you feel is the most reliable adult in your life - someone you can trust to listen to you. This could be someone like another family member, a teacher, a neighbour, a friend’s parent, or a doctor. This person might be someone who could also try to get your mum some help - although the main responsibility for this is on your mum herself.
When you talk to your chosen person, make sure you also tell them about your panic attacks and the thoughts/voice you hear in your head so they can make sure you get the right kind of help.
I hope this has helped, I'm really glad you chose to talk to me - remember that Childline counsellors are available to talk to as well and you can also talk to other young people on the Childline message boards. The Coping Kit and Calm Zone may also have some activities or exercises that can help if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Take care.
Sam
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