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To Sam

i feel ashamed

hi sam, i am 15 and a lesbian and i feel really ashamed. whenever people bring up gay people it makes me feel uneasy and almost as if theyre trying to find something out about me even if i absolutely know they arent. if i ever have feelings for a girl i just end up getting upset and feeling dirty or wrong. everyyone else i know likes boys and ive tried so hard to be like them and be normal but i just cant. i feel like ive let my parents down by not being straight and theyre going to hate me for it. i just want to be normal.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

It can take time to understand and accept yourself. When you start to have feelings for girls instead of boys it can feel confusing, maybe even worrying. You may feel alone because you don’t see anybody else who's also a lesbian and everyone else you know likes boys. You may feel guilty for being a lesbian and want to be straight because it would make things easier.

It's ok if it takes time for you to come to terms with being who you are, that can happen to a lot of people. Childline has a sexuality advice page that could help. It can feel worrying to think about telling other people you know. No one should feel they have let their parents down for being who they are. Everyone deserves to be valued and accepted for who they are. Sometimes people can react better to these things and be more supportive than we imagine they would.

There’s no rush for you to have to tell anybody you know about the way you’re feeling. You never have to tell anybody until you’re fully ready. You’re not alone and there are always other people who have been through what you’re going through that you can chat to, safely and anonymously,  on the Childline message boards. Talking about your feelings can really help. The Childline counsellors are also always there to support you and talk things through as well.

Take care,


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