Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

It can feel like running away from our problems is the best way to fix them, but usually that's not the case.

I can understand a problem sometimes feels so big that running away is the only option, but often things can be worse if you run away. When you return, the problem will likely still exist. It's difficult to say without knowing what you're running away from but it's almost always not the best thing to do.

There are a couple of times when running from home might be the right thing to do. If you're escaping from violence or abuse and you have somewhere safe you can go to, then leaving home could be part of the solution for you. In that case it’s important to plan where you're going and what you're going to do. This will help make sure running away doesn’t put you in an even more unsafe situation.

You shouldn't run away to live on the streets as this is probably more dangerous - you should have a trusted adult who you can go to and stay with until you can contact someone like social services or the police.

Most other problems aren't solved by running away. Usually it's best to work out a way to change things at home - even if that feels like a very hard thing to do. If you're having arguments with family or are finding home a difficult place to be then talking about your problem with another adult can often be a good idea. Tell them about your problems and see if they can help you come up with another solution.

If you have a problem you don't feel can change then you may need to find ways to cope instead. Coping with difficult situations is usually better than running away because it means you only have to rely on yourself.

Looking after yourself by taking time to do things you enjoy, distracting yourself or meditating gives you ways of coping that nobody can take away from you. You can find some different ways to help you cope in the Coping Kit.

Learning different ways to cope is just temporary until you can change your situation for the better. It’s important to know how to look after yourself to get through a tough time if it might be a long time before things change.

I don't know the details of your situation so can't give any specific advice for you, but you could try talking to a Childline counsellor. They would be able to help you find the safest thing to do and can provide confidential advice. You can also speak to other young people on the Childline message boards.

I hope this has helped, thanks for sharing this with me

Sam