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To Sam

Being Gay

Dear sam,

my friend recently told everyone that he was gay, including his parents. His mum is being supportive but his dad and brother are bullying him about it. he was to scared to write to you because he is never home alone, so im doing it on his behalf. He always gets picked on by his parents so he sent me a message saying "my dad and brother are making me feel really upset because they say my clothes are gay and then my dad says "does your boyfriend like your clothes?" then my brother says "he cant get a boyfriend because he's ugly!" i didnt say anything i just ran off

Help!!!

J*

Ask Sam

Sam

Hello J*,

Thank you for your letter. It sounds like you really care about your friend and the effect that telling people he is gay has had on him. Everyone has the right to be whatever sexuality they are without the fear of people bullying them for it. In fact, when a parent says things like this, this is classed as emotional abuse and it is wrong of your friend’s dad to say these things to him. 

It sounds like you would like to be there for your friend, which is really positive, and something you should feel very proud of. Having someone to talk his feeling through with at such a difficult time can be really important. You can also find information on helping a friend, which also has information on helping a friend in Explore. 

If you or your friend want to know more about sexuality, Young Stonewall is a website that will give you information about sexuality and ‘coming out’ to those around you. Perhaps you could both take a look at this for further support.

If you or your friend would like to talk to someone at ChildLine, there are several ways to get in touch. You can talk by phone on 0800 1111 which is free from all UK phones and won't show up on the bill. It is also possible to talk to a counsellor using  online chat or by using ChildLine email. If your friend can't talk to ChildLine in his house, perhaps he could call from a mobile or a phonebox, or create an online account from a library, frriend's house or internet café computer.

Take care,

Sam

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