Ask Sam letter


To Sam


I am really upset about christmas this year becaus my nana died 3 years ago on christmas eve and i get really upset this time of year. I dunno what I can do without her:/
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for your letter, it was really brave of you to write to me. I am sorry that you won’t receive this reply until after Christmas.

Christmas can be tough for some people, especially if it reminds you of something upsetting that happened at this time of year. I imagine Christmas might bring back some sad feelings about your nana’s death. It sounds as though you really cared for your nana and that you had a close relationship.

I can hear you still miss your nana very much. You say that you don’t know what to do without her. It might be worth considering talking to your family or friends about how you’re feeling. It’s ok to ask for support when you are feeling upset, and there is no “right” time to stop feeling sad about losing someone close. It might be that your family might be feeling a bit sad and missing your nana as well.

There are also things you could do to remember your Nana at Christmas. You could write her a letter about how you feel about her and keep it somewhere special. You could light a candle in her honour or even make a collage of things that remind you of her and how she made this time of year special for you.

You could read the When Someone Dies page in Explore for some more ideas of how to look after yourself when you are feeling sad. You might also want to visit the Bereavement messageboards, where you can read about other young people’s experiences. You could even post a message of your own if you want to ask for some support.

There are several organisations that have been set up to support young people who have experienced the loss of someone close. You could have a look at the website of Winston’s Wish which has a lot of practical help and advice. The Childhood Bereavement Network also has some useful information, including contact details of local services where you can get face to face help.

If you wanted to talk some more about this you can always talk confidentially to a counsellor at ChildLine either online or over the phone 0800 1111.

Take care


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