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To Sam

I Need Help Coming Out!

Hello Sam! I'm a 11 Year old Girl.Have you got any advice on coming out to parents as Bisexual, I have been dating a girl for a while and really love her but I feel like I need to tell my parents. It may be confusing as I'm only a child but I feel like this is who I am. Many people say to me "its just a trend" etc but its not. And many people don't support me for this.If you have any device please tell me! Thanks.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Being honest and open with the people around us can make a big difference in how happy we are. If we feel like we can be ourselves, then we can put our time and energy into things that make us happy, instead of carrying round a secret. It's natural to want to express your sexuality in an open way as well - but it's not always easy.

Coming out as bisexual can be hard, because a lot of people might assume you’re straight. You might worry that they’ll think differently about you, or they won’t like this new part of you. These are common fears but they don't always work out like that.

Firstly it's important to remember that you haven't become a new person. You're still the same person inside with the same personality. Even though you're only just coming out as bisexual, people have been your friends and family the whole time you had this sexuality.

Secondly you should also remember that your sexuality doesn't define everything about you. There’s a lot that makes you the special person you are. Who you love and the genders you are attracted to can be important to you, but they’re just one part of a person. Telling people you’re bisexual shouldn't distract from all the other things you are as well.

It might sound like I'm telling you to just come out and be yourself, but I know it's not always simple. Some people might react in a negative way. Hopefully that doesn't happen, but it might help to also prepare yourself mentally and emotionally, just in case. This usually means being comfortable in your sexuality first. If you've been dating a girl for a while, you might feel confident in yourself, but try to think how you would handle a negative reaction.

Planning ahead like this is good, but it can also make you feel paranoid about how people will react. It might make telling people harder if you’re worried about what they’ll say. I think a good way to deal with this is to be specific about who you tell at first. Pick out the person who’s most likely to be supportive, and tell them first. This way you have someone you can rely on to back you up if others are being negative.

I think another good step would be to talk to other young people on our message boards. There are people on there who have gone through similar things and they could share their own experiences with you.

I hope this has helped but if you need to talk more, our counsellors are there for you. Thanks for writing to me. Take care.


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