Ask Sam letter


To Sam

my best friend

hello, my best friend, i absolutely love her so much and i know shes struggling sometimes. she deals with mental health issues, she sees a therapist and is going on meds soon for her deppression. she is also being soon diagnosed wiyh adhd, it impacts me alot becuase it makes me think she doesnt care abiut me because she doesnt make the effort to hang around with me outsidr of school. we had a chat and she explained how she felt. i just want tk know how to help her and let her lnow i care thank you

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Usually the best thing you can do for a friend, especially if you want to help them through a hard time, is to listen, ask questions and try to understand what they need from you.

Sometimes mental health issues, such as depression, can affect how a person acts. They may act differently but that doesn’t mean they feel differently about you. It can just be very hard for them to cope and express how they feel.

Supporting anyone with their mental health can be hard as you may not know what to do to help.

It’s important to remember to look after yourself and make time to think about what you need too, as supporting someone can take a lot out of you. Talking to a trusted adult or another friend gives you the chance to also express your feelings.

When someone is struggling, usually the main thing they need is to be listened to and understood. Different people need different things. It’s human nature to want to help and give advice but some people may need space or to not to be treated differently. Others may need help getting support which would be when they access professional support like your friend is for their depression and ADHD.

Your friend may not feel up to going out or doing things outside of school just yet. It’s okay to tell them you miss them and that you’d like to do something together when they feel ready. But let them know there’s no pressure and you understand if they’re not feeling up to it.  This lets them know you care but doesn’t put them under any pressure. Perhaps see if they’d feel comfortable making a plan to do something together for next month.

In the meantime, it’s important you make the effort to do things you enjoy and to take care of yourself. You can always talk more about how you’re feeling with a Childline counsellor or to other young people on the Childline message boards.

I hope this helped, take care


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