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To Sam

Is it bullying?

I'm not really sure whether this is bullying or not so I thought this would be the best place to ask... Please reply:)

So it started about 2 weeks after we came back to school after the summer holidays. This girl is quite bossy and VERY competitive but she isn't the most stunning girl you have ever seen. We were best friends through out year 7 and 8. Soon I realised that she was spreading rumours, I was sure it was her because every time I traced back a rumour it would lead to her. Soon I was in a fight with a 'cool' girl and she said that someone had told her that I was saying rude stuff, sure enough it lead back to this girl. I think it may have to do with the little group that we were in - there was 4 of us. Anyway I had had problems with this girl in there, all the teachers knew how nasty she could be but nether the less I tried to be pleasant and nice to her however mush self control it took!

Anyway at school we have a netball team and this girl is the captain and she keeps shoving me off the team and excluding me even though the teacher says I am one of their best players but today at training her and all the yr 10's and 9's were calling me a rat and chanting it to me (I'm year 9). Also the rest of the team would not throw the ball to me unless they had to and they kept saying 'we need some strong disinfectant if she touches it' which hurt my feelings - also when they did throw the ball to me they would throw it as hard as they could, possibly to try to hurt me? The strange thing is I haven't done anything wrong! I don't bitch to other people because that puts you in the wrong, however, I must have done something?

Please help me, I know what to do if I am being bullied its just telling me whether it could possibly be bullying and how long I need to wait, also any useful tips?

Thanks for your time reading this and I hope you have time to reply:D

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thanks for your letter. I am pleased that you decided to tell me about what is going on for you at school.

You explain very well how things are at school with the girl who is spreading rumours about you. The way she is behaving towards you in netball is unacceptable. Unfortunately, I can confirm that this girl's behaviour counts as bullying.

Bullying can mean many different things including: being called names, being put down and teased, being pushed, having rumours spread about you or being ignored and left out. You could take a look at the bullying pages in the Explore section for more information and advice.

It’s really good that you have some ideas of what you can do if you are being bullied. A good starting point is telling someone who can help you get it stopped. This might be an adult you trust at school or a member of your family. It's best to try and put a stop to bullying as soon as you can. There's no need to wait any longer before you do anything, as it feels like have already experienced bullying for long enough.

Finding out about your school's anti-bullying policy is really useful as it will explain who to speak to at school and what they will do to help you. Keeping a record of the bullying can be useful evidence which you can use when you talk to someone about it.

You might like to talk to a counsellor at ChildLine - they can support you with getting the bullying stopped and help you find ways to cope. You can talk to a counsellor by phone, 1-2-1 chat or by sending an email.

Take care for now,


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