Ask Sam letter


To Sam

My mom and brother have both done really serious crimes to me

my brother has committed a lot of emotional and sexual abuse to me as a kid, and it very visibly changed my behaviour and mental health, my mom then told me my dad would lose his job if I told anyone. And has continually scorned me for hating him, this is enabling and being an accessory to pedophilia. I told tons of people what was going on, there were probably whole hosts of people who saw something wrong with how those 2 interacted with others. I don't really know how to go about calling the police, where do I start? is all the circumstantial evidence enough? and will all the people I told tip the scale in my favour in court? ​

Ask Sam


Hi there,

There’s no time limit on making a report to the police. If the abuse is from a long time ago there’s likely to be no forensic evidence, however, your memory and explanation of what happened will still count as evidence and anyone who knew about or saw this can support your account.

It’s entirely the decision of the survivor whether to report abuse or not, nobody should put pressure on you either way. Before making a report of sexual abuse it might help to speak to your local Rape Crisis centre and go through what options you have and what may happen. They have specialists like advocates or ISVAs (Independent Sexual Violence Advocates) who can support you through each step whichever you decide to do.

You’re entitled to support for what you’ve been through and still experience every day. The support can be through services like those mentioned above, your GP, Childline and many others.

To start a report, think about how you’d feel most comfortable proceeding. You can report things online, by calling 101 or face-to-face at your local police station. Think about if you’d prefer to do this alone or have someone with you.

Just having circumstantial evidence is ok as the police should investigate any report, but anything that may support what you tell them can help. These include diary entries, dates, names of people you’ve told and messages you may have but the police will explore this and explain the process.

You haven’t mentioned if you’re still living with your family or not, but I get the sense that making any report would affect any contact you still have with them as they’ve wrongly pressured you not to report it. It’s important to think about this and be in a supportive environment as if an investigation goes ahead you need to be somewhere you feel safe and can seek help if needed.

You’re very welcome to talk about this more. Childline is here for you, believes you and you’re very welcome to use any of our services.

Hope this helps.

Take care,


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