Ask Sam letter


To Sam

About abuse


Ever since i have been getting gradually older i have been getting more nervous about going to public spaces. This is because i am scared of being abused (which is what the topics about ) and kidnapped. You see i have recently had a couple nightmares about well being abused. I have talked to my family about this and it turns out my nan actually also has anxiety about public spaces. The only thing that has actually done something is doing some meditating. I only really feel safe when there are lots of other family's around. I always feel more relaxed when I'm with my friends just because there are usually loads of us. Any chance you know how i can feel a bit more safer.

yours sincerely


Ask Sam


Hi there,

It’s natural to want to be safe and everyone gets scared sometimes. Feeling frightened is also something you can pick up from others. If someone you’re close to is worried about something, or you see or hear about someone being hurt or injured, it can make you frightened too. It could even be something on TV, in the news or on social media that worries you.

When your body is in fear overdrive, breathing exercises or exercise can help your stress levels, so you feel relaxed and calmer. There are different ways of coping and some things work better for some than others.  Things might even work better for you in different situations.

Some people find that mediation or mindfulness helps them to cope with stress and worries. It can help them to focus on what’s happening now instead of what might happen in the future, or something from the past.

You don’t need to sit cross-legged or for a long time to be mindful, just pay attention to your breathing and try one of our breathing exercises. You could also try focusing on something you can see or hear right now for a few moments, try 30 seconds or a minute to start with. If it helps you to feel more relaxed you could practise for a few minutes once or twice a day in a peaceful place where you won’t be disturbed. The idea isn’t to stop thoughts from happening, it’s to help you notice them without judging them or criticising yourself for having a busy mind

Breathing in slowly for the count of four and breathing out for four could help in most situations, and remember it can take a while for your body and mind to feel calmer. Practising taking slow breaths when you’re not feeling stressed or anxious can help when things are more difficult. It’s like lots of things in life, the more you practise the better you’ll get.

If you do feel up  to going to your GP, you might find them helpful. Anxiety about what’s going on outside is common and there are types of therapy, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), that can help with this. There’s no harm in talking to your doctor about it and seeing what they think. If you don't feel ready for that, you can always speak to one of our counsellors

Thank you for writing to me and I hope this has helped.

Take care,


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