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To Sam

Is this allowed?

hi sam ! sometimes i get angry at my parents but honestly i’d prefer if they would shout instead of hit me…I don’t know if they are allowed to hit me with a plastic hanger on my body or if I’m overreacting because I’m asian . Also i dont want them to be in trouble because they are genuinly nice and I made them angry first. they were also raised like this from their parents. what should i do?

Ask Sam


Hi there

It can be normal to have arguments at home from time to time and for young people or adults to express anger. However, it’s not ok for anyone to be hurt emotionally or physically. Things like your family’s culture and upbringing can make being hit appear more acceptable, however nowadays it isn’t, it is physical abuse and it can help to talk to someone about this, so you can be supported.

It is illegal for a parent or carer to hit a child. This does depend on the situation but no punishment should hurt.  In some parts of the UK hitting a child in any way is against the law.

In some families, physical punishment has been used for many years and like you say adults have been raised with it. This doesn’t mean it’s okay but can mean they are less understanding of the impact it has and how wrong it is now. It’s never a child’s fault that an adult has hit them and no matter what your culture or background, you shouldn’t be hit.

It can help to talk to someone about this so you can discuss options you have and what you would like to do. That may be to involve a trusted adult like a teacher.

Your first step could be to talk to a counsellor at Childline confidentially about this. This can be on the phone or online.  They  will be able support you with these conversations or anything you decide.

You can also speak to other young people on the Childline message boards.

Hope this helps

Take care


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