Ask Sam letter


To Sam


my mum hits me sometimes and blames me for my sister being dad can get very abusive too,all sorts..physical abuse and emotional..somethimes they make jokes about me being dumb and laugh at it and it hurts and when i tell them that i didnt like it they say im over reacting..i want to call child line but am too scared of what theyre going to do if they find out i called child it abuse if they hit you sometimes but like mostly?please help me..i dont wanna live like this anymore

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Home should be a safe place for you to live. This means nobody should hurt you - either physically or emotionally. This is especially true about your parents or carers. They’re supposed to protect you, not hurt you. The things that your parents are telling you aren't true and there's nothing you could do to make it okay for them to hurt you.

Emotional abuse can mean lots of things - like when someone blames you, calls you names or makes you feel bad about yourself. When someone does this for a long time it can start to effect things like how you feel about yourself. You might start to believe some of the bad things they're saying about you even though they're not true. Being emotionally abused is difficult to cope with on your own because it can knock your confidence and you might not realise what’s happening is abuse.

Physical abuse is when someone hurts you physically - like hitting, kicking or slapping you. This might be with objects or with their hands. If you're being hit this is physical abuse and it's not okay. You don't need to be injured for it to be physical abuse and it doesn't change depending on who is hurting you - nobody has the right to hurt you, no matter what.

When you’re being abused it can be hard to know what to do. It can be especially difficult when you’re being hurt by someone you love. There might be times when things feel okay and your parents treat you nicely, which makes it harder to tell someone about the times when they abuse you. A good first step is often to talk to someone not involved with your family.

Hearing someone else's opinion about how they’re behaving can help you to see what's happening is wrong. Childline has lots of advice about speaking out, and asking an adult for help. You can also always talk to a Childline counsellor about what’s happening – and they can help you plan what to say and to who if you need support. This can be especially useful when you are being emotionally abused because that can be difficult to see on your own.

The person you talk to could be a friend, an adult you trust, like a teacher, or Childline. Something to remember is that if you choose to talk to a teacher, they might have to tell someone else. If you talk to Childline first, we could keep that confidential until you're ready to talk to a trusted adult.

If you don't feel ready to talk to someone yet then it's important to look after yourself as best you can. Try to take time away from your parents and focus on yourself. Do things that you enjoy and find relaxing – try Childline’s Coping Kit for some distracting activity ideas. But if you ever feel in danger, call 999 to get help immediately. Your safety comes first.

Thanks for sharing this with me, I hope my letter has helped.

Take care,


Need help straight away?

You can talk privately to a counsellor online or call 0800 1111 for free.

Ask me a question

You can ask me about anything you want, there's nothing too big or small. I read every single letter but I can only answer a few each week. My replies are published here on my page.

Write me a letter