Ask Sam letter


To Sam

My gender

I am 14 years of age I'm struggling with my gender identity I am female at birth but I feel more male than female I hate My breasts and feel like they shouldn't be there on days I do feel like a girl and on others I feel more like a boy which is mostly I don't know what to do hoping you could give me some advice


Ask Sam


Hi there,

Gender dysphoria is a condition where someone is struggling or finding it difficult because their gender identity and biological sex are not the same. It could be that some days things feel okay and on another day things don’t feel right and feel uncomfortable with yourself. This would be a symptom of gender dysphoria.

People who are confused about their gender identity often feel like they are in the wrong body. They might want to change their clothes or hairstyle to better match the gender they identify with. It can be hard to cope with and a scary thing to speak out about it or tell someone how they feel. Having these feelings can identify someone as transgender (or trans for short).

Some transgender people want to change from living as a girl to a boy or vice versa. This could mean changing things about themselves like how they look and/or parts of their body. Some people might decide that they don’t want to do this. It’s important to do what feels right for you.

Some female to male transgender people wear a something called a binder to stop their breasts from being visible. It’s important to talk to your doctor before doing anything to try and change the shape of your body. Wearing something tight on your chest can cause medical problems and physical damage.

Some people don’t identify as either male or female. This is called being non-binary. Sometimes people might feel both male and female, or they might feel like they are neither.  However you feel and however you categorise yourself, it’s okay.

Coping with gender dysphoria can be difficult. Thoughts and feelings can be overwhelming and it might feel like there’s nobody to turn to. There are people who can help like your doctor, an adult you trust like a family member or a teacher in school. You can also get support from a Childline counsellor.

Getting support can help you to share your experience and recognise that you are not alone. You can also get advice and support from other young people on our message boards and from other groups you can join like GIDS.

Take care for now,


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