Hi there,

As you get older it’s natural to want more privacy and to stop people using things you own without permission. Sometimes what you want won’t always match what your parent or carer wants, but there are ways to communicate your needs.

It can help to think about what would happen if you tried to put a lock on your door without speaking to your carer. When someone has parental responsibility for you, then they can decide that you’re not allowed to have a lock. Making changes like that without talking about it first can also lead to more arguments and even make it harder to share that you want more privacy and respect.

Even if you can’t put a lock on without permission, there are still things you can do. An important first step is to be assertive about your own belongings. This means saying that you don’t want people taking things without permission directly, but without shouting or getting aggressive. Staying calm and being honest can help others to take in what you’re saying. You could even ask for a lock and explain the reasons it’s important to you.

Choosing the right time to talk is also important. Find a time when your carer isn’t busy or distracted. It can even help to say you’d like to arrange a time to talk or have a family meeting. Family meetings can be a time when you and your carer talk about what rules are in your home, and what rules you’d like to change.

If someone at home is constantly breaking your boundaries or making you feel like you can’t have privacy, sometimes it can be good to get support outside of your home. You can also get support from our counsellors any time.

Take care,

Sam