i always get the feeling that i am never enough for maybe, literally everything. im not smart enough to be the “smart kid” neither am i dumb enough to be “dumb” from other people’s perspective. i am not extrovert enough to make a decent amount of friends but im introvert enough to have little social interaction. i am not happy enough to feel actual happiness and feeling empty most of the time but im not sad enough to be seen either. i dont know what I can do to get rid of this feeling but it always makes me feel like i am just a nobody
Sam
Hi there,
Many people can feel stuck believing they’re not enough. Whether it’s your own expectations or other people’s, focusing on what you think you should be can often make you forget the things that make you unique.
Feeling like you are enough isn’t about being better at something than other people. Someone could be the smartest person in the world and still feel like they’re not enough. Feeling enough is all about focusing on the things you like about yourself, feeling confident in what you’re doing, and avoiding comparing yourself to other people.
Learning to notice the good things about yourself can take time. We’ve got loads of advice on how to build your self-esteem, and it can help to practice things every day to build yourself up.
One exercise to try is taking a few minutes each day to write down something positive about yourself. This could be something you’ve done well, when you’ve helped someone, or when you’ve gotten through something you found difficult. The more you write these things down, the more you’ll start to notice them.
Building your confidence in what you’re doing or what you want to achieve can help give you purpose and help build your identity. There are loads of ways to build your confidence, from starting new hobbies to changing your look. Think about what you enjoy and focus on ways to build on that.
Lastly, comparing yourself to other people can often make it hard to ever feel enough. You might compare yourself to what you see online, what your friends do, or even what you imagine others are doing. Comparing yourself can stop you from feeling proud of the things you accomplish. The more you focus on just what you’re achieving, the easier it can become to avoid comparing yourself.
Nobody needs to fit a label. Your identity is something you can work on any time, and it’s always possible to find friends and others who share your interests and value who you are. If how you’re feeling is impacting you, it’s okay to get support. Sharing how you feel with someone you trust or with a Childline counsellor can help give you perspective and can change how you feel in the future.
Take care,
Sam
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