My 'friend' keeps ignoring my boundaries | Ask Sam
I met him online, and we mostly talk on a group chat we are both in. He actually seemed really nice and funny, but he started acting weird. He is 13, and often makes sexual jokes. I decided to over-look it, as a lot of 13-year-old boys find that kind of thing funny, but it began getting out of hand. He started shipping me with someone on the group chat who I will call Gary. Me and Gary kept asking him to stop and he did. But then recently, he starting saying that me and gus were doing sexual things together. I told him to stop but he kept ignoring me, Then I told him to at least say okay even if it is a lie, so he said it, but he said he was lying and that he might do it again. I reported his messages, but I don't know what to do if he doesn't stop. I don't want to leave the group chat, because my only friends are on it, and I don't want to loose touch with them.
Sam
Hi there,
It’s always okay to have boundaries of what you are and aren’t comfortable with. When you’ve let someone know that their behaviour makes you uncomfortable or breaks your boundaries, it’s not okay for them to keep doing it.
What you’ve described is a type of sexual harassment. This is unwanted sexual behaviour. It can happen in person or online and it’s not okay. When someone is harassing you, there are ways to get support.
It’s okay to end a conversation with someone who’s harassing you, you don’t need to justify why you’re not talking to them anymore. You could think about talking to Gus and Gary about leaving the group or asking for this person to be removed. Remember, you can usually report sexual harassment on the app or site you’re using as well. You can block anyone you don’t want to communicate with you any more. It could help to talk to others in the group about how this person’s behaviour is affecting you to help you get support.
Whether something is online, in person, or both, it can help to talk to someone you trust. Telling an adult what’s happening in this group can let them support you with the behaviour. You shouldn’t have to cope with this alone.
Take care,
Sam
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