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A girl asked me out but I'm gay. What should I do?

So, I'm kind of in a glass closet at school and a girl asked me out. I can't tell anyone because my sister's also at the school and it will leak back to her. What should I do? Should I come out to everyone? My mum and dad make it very clear to me that it's ok if I'm gay and all I can think about is coming out. Please help!! I also don't want to hurt her feelings.
Ask Sam


Hi there,

Thank you for sharing how you’re feeling. 

It sounds like you are having a difficult time at the moment. Even though you are sure about how you feel, you are not sure about how those around you might respond if you tell them you are gay.

I can tell that you don’t want to hurt the girl’s feelings. At the same time, you’re worried that telling her the truth could mean that everyone else might find out about it too. Coming out sounds like it’s on your mind a lot and it seems like you’re not sure whether you want to start to tell people or not. You have the right to choose when you feel ready to tell somebody and it’s up to you which people you trust. The decision seems to be made harder for you as you feel other people at your school might find out that you're gay. 

It would be wrong for me to say whether or not you should come out to everyone because the choice has to be right for you. It can help to make sure that you have support around you when you come out so perhaps you could think about which people you feel would be there for you. It seems like your parents will be supportive which is really good to hear. 

If you ever want to talk to someone about how you can deal with this, remember you can always talk to a ChildLine counsellor. You can do this by calling 0800 1111 for free or logging on for a 1-2-1 chat. We also have some information about coming out and sexual identity here - I hope you find this useful. 

I can hear that you really care about this girl’s feelings and you sound like a thoughtful person. I’m wondering about your feelings and what feels best for you right now. You’ve done well to get in touch and start talking about this and I hope that you’re able to get the support you need, whatever you decide to do. You might also find the ChildLine message boards useful - this is a place where young share experiences and support each other.

Take care


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