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To Sam

I am insecure about my private parts

My private parts as a woman didnt really get my attension until i started getting boyfriends and they pointed out that my private part (near my lower stomach) is wierd and i should get plastic surgery because it looks ugly that has made me very insecure and im sceared that im deformed or its just not pleasent to look at and which would mean i wouldnt get any boyfriends. I went to the doctor about it to see if it has to do with an illness but they just said everyone is different and im completely healthy so what should i do?

Ask Sam


Hi there

Everyone has insecurities about their body and different things can bother us at different times of our lives. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes just like our private parts do. No two people are the same and being healthy is most important.

The difference is we see different people's features every day, for example think about how many different shape noses you see over the next couple of days. No two are the same. That is the same with both male and female genitalia, breasts or nipples, however it’s not nearly as often we see a large variety of these as they are covered with clothing.

People may see a range of naked bodies on TV or the internet. More often than not these people have bodies that fit the conventional beauty standard being that the job they are in. This doesn’t mean that this is normal though. It’s like mainly catwalk models being tall – it's not because their body is more attractive – it's just what that industry looks for.

As people have more experience with seeing different women’s bodies or talking to others they will understand they do not all look like ones they have seen before. In fact, the differences are what make each woman unique.

It’s also important to remember we all have different attractions and what one person finds very attractive another may not and vice versa, it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you.

Remember all parts of your body will continue to change and develop beyond puberty and into early adulthood and it’s about learning to love yourself and building self-esteem. You are not alone with how you feel and Childline and other young people on the message boards are here to support you.

Hope this helps

Take care


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