Worries about puberty

There’s no right or wrong way to look, but sometimes it can be hard to stop yourself from comparing yourself to others.

If you’re struggling with this, there are a few small things you can do to help.

• Remind yourself that social media isn’t real life. Photos on social media often have filters or are airbrushed and lots of people will only show things that make them look good, even when it’s not real. It can help to take a break if you’re comparing yourself a lot to others online. Get advice about feeling good when you’re on social media.
• Do something just for you. Go for a walk, play a game or do something you enjoy. Doing things that help you to feel good can stop you focusing on comparing yourself to others or can give you a break from things.
• Focus on things you’ve done well. Try to remember something you’ve done in the past that you’re proud of or think about how you’ve changed things since you were younger. It can be hard to think of things at first, but if you’re struggling you could try talking to a Childline counsellor about it.
• Make a change. Change your hairstyle, try a new colour or take up a new hobby. Stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something new can help to build your confidence and self-esteem.
• Do something good for another person. There are lots of ways to help other people. You could get involved in volunteering, help a friend or make time to say something nice to other people.
• Remember that things can change. Keep reminding yourself that your feelings can get better and change. Puberty can feel like it’s lasting a long time, but it will pass.

Get more tips on building your confidence and self-esteem.

Puberty can start and finish from 8-18 years old, but that can vary a lot between people. And some young people can worry about starting before or after the people around them. You might also be worried about ‘keeping up’ with the people around you.

If you’re worried about starting puberty early or late, it’s okay to talk about it. Asking an adult you trust can help you to feel less worried, or you can always make an appointment with your doctor to get advice.

If you’re a girl or physically female, the size and shape of your breasts can change a lot during puberty and you might find that your nipples become more sensitive than they were before. Breasts come in all shapes and sizes and they’re all normal. 

6 facts about breasts:

• Lots of people have one breast which is a different size or shape than the other.
• It's normal for breasts to feel sore or tender sometimes, especially just before or during your period.
• Breasts can feel heavier or softer before a period.
• Nipples come in different shapes and sizes. They can be outward or inward.
• The area around the nipple is called the areola and it's normal for it to be a few shades darker than your breast.
• Sometimes nipples have bumps, pimples, or hairs.

You can start wearing a bra whenever you want to, or whenever you feel that it might be more comfortable wearing one. It's important to get fitted for a bra in a department store or specialist bra shop to make sure you're wearing the right size. A sports bra can give more support when you’re exercising.

If you’re having sharp pains in your breast, an ache, or you notice a lump on your breast or something that doesn’t seem usual, then it’s important to speak to a doctor. You can ask to see a female doctor if that makes you feel more comfortable.

Lots of young people will get spots and acne on their face or other parts of their body during puberty. Spots will usually go away on their own, but they can also leave some people feeling self-conscious or worried about how they look.

There are a few things you can do if you’re worried about spots:

• Avoid squeezing or bursting them as this can lead to scarring.
• Wash them with a mild soap and water, but don’t do this more than twice a day as it can dry your skin or make the spots worse.
• Do things each day that help you to feel good or boost your confidence.
• Speak to your pharmacists or doctor about things that might help.

Get more advice on spots and acne on the NHS website.

Penises are all shapes and sizes. There's no right size or shape. Whatever size your penis is, you're normal. A penis can also change size. Sometimes it might be soft and small. Other times it may get bigger and harder.

A cold temperature can affect the size of a penis and can make it smaller, but this is only temporary until it warms up again. Some penises are straight and some might be curved slightly. Both are normal.