Embarrassment

What is embarrassment?

Embarrassment is the uncomfortable feeling you get when something’s made you worry about how other people are seeing you. You could be feeling this way because of something you’ve said or done, how you look or because of something that’s been said about you.

Feeling embarrassed can leave you feeling upset, isolated or hurt, even when you’ve done nothing wrong. It can be really difficult when it affects how you see yourself, or stops you doing things you want to.

Lots of people feel embarrassed sometimes, and it’s important to remember that those feelings usually pass in time.

5 things you might feel embarrassed about:

being hurt, put down or bullied by other people
talking about sex or your body
something you’ve said or done that you regret
sharing how you’re feeling or asking for help
what happens at home or with your family.

You never need to feel embarrassed speaking to Childline, and you can talk to us about anything.

How to deal with embarrassment

There are lots of ways to deal with feeling embarrassed, and we’re here to help.

Make a joke about it

If nobody’s been hurt, laughing about what’s happened can help you to see it less seriously. Laughter can help to show you and other people that it’s not something to worry about.

It can help to remind yourself that even if you’re not ready to laugh about it now, that can change in the future.

Try to play down or ignore what happened

Even when you’ve noticed something embarrassing you’ve done, it doesn’t mean that other people have.

If nobody else has reacted to something, then staying calm and acting like it’s not a big deal can help to stop something feeling even more embarrassing.

Talk about it

Feeling embarrassed can make some people feel ashamed or like they need to keep things to themselves, but talking about it can really help.

Sharing what’s happened or what’s making you feel this way can help other people to support you, and can help you realise that you can feel differently in the future.

It can help to talk to an adult you trust or a friend. If you’re worried about talking to someone in your life, you can always talk to us.

Feeling too embarrassed to talk

Worrying about how other people might react, what they’ll think and how they’ll see you can make it hard to open up sometimes. You might also be worried about whether things are important enough to talk about, or if you’ll be taken seriously.

Everyone deserves to feel heard and supported. When you’re struggling to start a conversation or speak to someone, it can help to plan what you’d like to say and write down what you’d like the other person to say or do afterwards.

Once you start talking about something, it can feel easier to keep going. We’ve got lots of advice to help you start difficult conversations.

Focus on the future

Embarrassment can sometimes leave you focusing a lot on what’s happened, and make it hard to think about what to do next.

Focusing on the future can mean:

thinking about ways to do things differently next time
apologising for something you’ve done wrong or owning up to a mistake
taking time to look after yourself or plan things that help you feel positive.

Finding ways to move on isn’t always easy, and we’ve got tips to help build confidence and self-esteem.

Get help if other people are bullying or hurting you

If someone’s doing something to embarrass or humiliate you, then that’s never okay. There are lots of things someone might do, like:

bullying or making fun of you in front of other people
pointing out things you feel self-conscious about
posting about you online, or sharing personal secrets
sharing your nudes or other pictures of you
blame you for something that wasn’t your fault.

Being made to feel shame or embarrassment can make it scary to ask for support, but it’s important to remember that it’s not your fault. Telling an adult you trust what’s happened can help you to get support to stop what’s happening.

If you’re scared about what might happen or you’re not sure where to go, remember that you can always talk to us.

Helping someone else

Seeing your friends or people you care about feeling embarrassed can be tough, and it’s natural to want to help. There are a few simple things you can do to support someone who’s feeling this way:

Avoid focusing on what’s happened

Talking a lot about something that’s happened or focusing on it can make someone feel more embarrassed, especially if they’re trying to move on. It can help to show someone that it’s not a big deal and that things can carry on afterwards.

Show them that you care about them

Sending someone a message to show you care about them and spending time together can help to show someone that they’re still cared about.

Give them space to talk

Let someone know that you’re there if they want to talk, and if they do try to listen and ask questions without judgement. Even when you can’t change a situation, listening to someone can help them to feel better.

Share your own experiences

Telling someone stories of things that have happened to you can help to show someone that they’re not alone, and that things can feel differently in the future