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Young parents
A lot can change when you become a new parent, and it can bring joy as well as challenges. It’s natural to feel overwhelmed, regardless of your age or experience. Remember you’re not alone; there’s always support available for you.
Becoming a new parent
As a young parent, you will feel that you have extra challenges and concerns. No matter what challenges you face, there’s help available:
Feeling like you don't know enough
Feeling unsure about how to be a parent is common but you don’t have to navigate this journey by yourself.
Talk to a family member or carer who has experience and been through this themselves. Family Lives also run free online parenting courses that can help you develop the parenting skills you need.
In certain areas in England there are family hubs which provide support for new parents. They are free to use and can offer advice and resources such as parenting classes, creche facilities, play groups, feeding support and vaccinations. If there isn’t a family hub in your area you can check what services your local council provides to new parents. The National Childbirth Trust also offers parents support on feeding their baby.
Needing more rest
Getting enough rest can be difficult with a new baby, but it’s important to look after yourself. Taking care of yourself is an essential part of being a parent. By focussing on your own health and wellbeing, you’ll be in a better position to provide the care and love your baby needs. Consider reaching out to a trusted family member or friend to look after your baby for a few hours — many people are eager to help.
If you or your baby have trouble sleeping, contact your midwife, local health visitor or GP about any questions you may have. They can offer support for any health or sleep issues you or your child may have.
Needing financial support
You may be really concerned about not having enough money to support you and your child. Understanding your key expenses and knowing where to get financial support can help you manage your money and reduce some of that stress.
You may be able to qualify for free milk, vitamins, fruit and vegetables, via NHS Healthy Start. You may also be entitled to receive benefits and support through universal credit, free childcare and housing benefit. Your health visitor can tell you what you’re entitled to and how to access it.
Gingerbread charity has a benefits finder for teenage parents and you can also visit the government website and Citizens Advice. We also have advice on how to manage your budget.
If you would like to get a job then colleges can often help young parents with getting employment. This support may include career counselling, job placement services and resources to help young parents navigate the job market while balancing their studies and family life. You can also find further information at Youth Employment UK, local Jobcentre Plus or the Citizens Advice service.
Your relationship with the baby's other parent
The arrival of a baby can introduce stress into your relationship. If you’re finding it hard to connect with your partner, it’s important to find time to understand the underlying issues. Whether you feel they aren’t contributing enough or are concerned about their wellbeing, open communication is key.
Set aside some time when the two of you can talk, ideally in person. Using ‘I’ statements can help you express your feelings without placing blame. For example:
- ‘I feel like we’re drifting apart’
- ‘I feel like I’m being shut out’
- ‘I worry that you’re overwhelmed and not allowing me to help'
You can also talk to Childline about what’s happening with your partner. Talking things through can help you understand the situation better.
If your relationship problems escalate to emotional abuse or violence, it’s important to recognise the signs of domestic abuse.
You and your child’s safety and well-being always come first. If you have concerns support is available from Childline.
Being a single parent
Raising a baby as a single parent can feel overwhelming, but remember you are not alone. There are various support options available to you, start by reaching out to your health visitor or midwife, who can guide you on the resources and support services in your area. There may be befriending schemes for new parents where you will be matched with a volunteer who will visit your home and accompany you to local family hubs or centres. This can help you connect with available support services and other single parents.
You can ask your health visitor or midwife if there are any local parent and baby groups where you can meet other parents in similar situations. These groups typically have a facilitator who leads discussions on challenges, milestones and practical parenting tips. You may also find workshops and activities such as baby massages, playtime and rhyme time sessions. Your health visitor or midwife can provide more information on what to expect from these groups.
You can get further advice and information from Gingerbread and the NHS.
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Keeping in touch with friends
After having a baby, staying in touch with friends can be difficult and that can leave you feeling lonely and isolated. Friendships are important for your wellbeing and here are some ways you can stay connected with friends:
Share your feelings
Talk to your friends about feeling left out or wanting to see them more often. They may not realise you still wish to spend time together.
Plan baby-friendly outings
Meet friends at parks or other child-friendly locations where you can enjoy their company while caring for your baby.
Join community run parent and baby groups
These groups provide a great opportunity to meet other parents. Many are free and your health visitor can help you find which groups are in your area.
Get support
Talking to your health visitor can help you to think about ways to feel less isolated. You can also always talk to Childline.
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Returning to school or college
Going back to school or college can seem hard when you’ve had a baby, but you have the right to pursue your education and your school or college should support you.
Reach out to your teachers and support staff
Share your concerns and questions with your teachers and support staff. Before you speak to them make a list of all your concerns and worries you have so they can address them. They can help you with navigating your schedule and make resources available to you so you feel more confident about returning.
Keeping up with schoolwork
Managing your schoolwork and studies can be challenging, especially if you’re worried about exams or you’re feeling tired. Set yourself achievable goals and take breaks when needed and be honest with your teachers. Sharing your experiences can help them understand how best to support you.
Dealing with negative comments
It’s never okay for anyone to make hurtful comments to you about being a young parent.
Whether it’s online or in person, nobody has the right to make you feel bad.
If you experience bullying or negative comments at school or college, report it to a trusted staff member. Schools and colleges have anti-bullying policies to protect you, but they can only help if they know what’s happening.
Sometimes it can help to tell someone in writing, and our conversation starter can make that easier.
No matter what challenges you face, remember you’re not alone. If you’re feeling anxious or concerned about what’s happening you can speak to a Childline counsellor any time.
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