Divorce and separation

There are lots of reasons people can separate or get a divorce. But if it happens, it's not your fault, and we've got advice to help you cope.

will my parents split up?

Everyone in a relationship disagrees sometimes. But when you're hearing your parents or carers argue, it can make you worried that they might split up.

Parents and carers can get a divorce or split up for lots of reasons, and your parents fighting doesn't necessarily mean that they'll break up. But if you're worried, it's important to talk about it.

If your parents do decide to split up or divorce, you're never to blame. You might worry about what happens next, but you're not alone.

Four things to remember:

  • it's not your fault
  • it can take time to adjust to things changing
  • there are lots of reasons why people divorce or separate
  • if you're worried, we're here to talk.

coping with divorce

Finding out your parents or carers are getting a divorce can be really upsetting. No matter how you're feeling, there are ways to cope.

  • Ask questions
    It's okay to ask questions about what's going to happen or things you're not sure about. If you're worried about asking too many questions, sometimes it can help to write them down and give them to your parent or carer.
  • Let your feelings out
    You could write an anonymous letter to Sam, use the Art box or keep a Mood journal. Expressing your feelings can stop them from building up and being too much to cope with.
  • Give yourself time
    It might feel like things will never get better, especially when you've just found out. But how you feel can change over time, and we're here to support you.

your questions about divorce

if things don't get better

There are lots of reasons you might feel unhappy after your parents get divorced or separate. You might:

  • be angry or upset at your parents
  • miss how things used to be
  • have had to change schools or move
  • give up things you own or a pet
  • not get to see people you care about as much.

It's okay to be upset by all of this, even if it's been a while.

do i have to say something?

If you've not felt able to ask for support, remember:

  • how you're feeling is important
  • there are lots of ways to ask for help
  • Even if you're not sure who to ask, you can talk to us.

Other sites that can help

Want more advice about divorce and separation? These sites can help.

  • CAFCASS help young people whose parents are going through family courts
  • LawStuff help you learn your rights if you're parents get divorced.