Call 0800 1111
Stepfamilies and second families
Joining a stepfamily can be a big change. It might mean moving in with new people or having step-brothers or sisters. It can take time to adjust but we can help.
life in a stepfamily
Every family is different. A stepfamily is when two families come together. Sometimes you'll live with your stepfamily, but not always.
Sometimes joining a stepfamily can be really exciting. You might look forward to getting closer to your new stepparent or stepsiblings. But it's also okay to be worried about the future.
If you're joining a stepfamily, you might be worried about:
- getting to know your stepfamily
- losing touch with your other parent and that side of the family, or feeling like you're betraying them
- not feeling like you're part of the family
- moving home or school
- not getting on with your stepfamily, even after a long time
- people seeing your family as different.
If you're having problems adjusting, we've got some advice to help.
3 things to remember:
- it can take time to adjust to your new family
- it can help to talk about how you feel
- every family is different, and it's natural for families to change.
settling into a new stepfamily
Changes in your family can be stressful. You might be worried about having to do things differently or about getting used to new people.
It's natural to feel scared or uneasy when there are lots of changes going on. But there are things you can do to help.
Plan activities together
Organising family outings and activities to do together can also be a good way to get to know each other. Try watching a film together, going for a family walk or out on a day trip.
Tell them how you feel
Things can be a big change for your family as well, talking to your mum or dad about how you feel can help you to find ways to feel better and less alone.
Talk to someone you trust
If you can't talk to your family, it can really help to talk to an adult you trustor to a Childline counsellor.
Let your feelings out
Whether you want to draw, write or cry, letting your feelings out can help you to cope.
Give things time
Even if things aren't working right now, it doesn't mean that things won't change. Try keeping a diary of what's going well and what isn't.
If things don't get better
Learning to cope with new family members can take time. But sometimes it can feel like things will never improve.
If you're struggling at home it's important to talk about it. Talking without arguing can help you to think of new ways to cope and can let people see how you're feeling.
Even if you can't talk to your family, you can talk a Childline counsellor about anything that's happening.
Find out more about coping with family problems.
Feeling proud of your family
Your family is a big part of who you are. And every family setup is different. There's no type of family that's better or worse than another.
If you're feeling self-conscious about your family it can make it tough telling people about it. But there are ways to feel confident:
- Ask your friends about their family and tell them what's different in yours
- Talk to your family about how to answer questions you're unsure about, and remember that you don't need to answer questions that make you uncomfortable
- Speak to your teacher about doing things in school to celebrate different families
get more support
This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.