hey i thought I would submit my letter because i have no one else to ask, when i was f14 my mom asked me to step on a scale for her because she said she was worried about my weight, i agreed and i did, afterwards she said “ sorry it just seemed like you have nothing back there” she was referring to my butt, after she said that i turned not facing her and was going to walk away when she then smacked my butt, im not sure if this counts as sexual assault considering my mom didnt mean it in a sexual way but looking back on this event it seems weird, what are your thoughts?
Sam
Hi there,
When a touch is unwanted or feels wrong, how you’re feeling is valid regardless of whether the other person was trying to be sexual or not. Anybody can be sexually assaulted, and nobody has the right to smack you like that.
When a situation doesn’t feel clear, it can leave you feeling confused and uncomfortable. It’s understandable to want to try to figure out what happened. Physical contact that makes someone feel uncomfortable or “weird” is often a sign that a personal boundary has been crossed. Whether it’s your parents, carers, or anyone else, having someone touch you without permission or comment on your body can be confusing and upsetting.
When something’s happened and it feels this way, it’s always okay to talk about it. If it feels safe to, you could talk to an adult you trust about what happened. This could be someone in your family, school, or even a Childline counsellor. Whether you want to talk to your mum about it is your choice, and sometimes it can help think about what feels safest for you.
Sharing things can feel difficult sometimes, but there are ways to make it easier. You could show someone you trust what you’ve written here or ask them for some time to talk when you feel safest. Sharing what’s happened can help you to feel more in control and can help you to think about what you’d like to do next.
Take care,
Sam
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