Supporting a family member with a mental health issue

Looking after someone can feel like a lot of work, but it's important to make time for you to relax or feel calm. Whatever's happening, you could:

• find a place in your home or somewhere safe nearby that's just for you
• take some time each day to do something you enjoy or find ways to relax
• setting aside some time each week to spend with your friends - it can help to plan things to look forward to even if you can't do them straight away
• try getting involved with things outside of home, like an activity at school or a club near where you live. 

It can be scary when you don't understand how mental health is affecting your family member. Mental health issues can be complicated, and how they affect someone can change over time. 

You could try asking an adult you trust about your family member’s mental health condition. They can help you to find out about your family member’s condition, their treatment and any medication they might be on.

If you go to an appointment with a family member you could make a list of questions you’d like to ask, or make notes about what’s been said. It’s okay to ask about anything you don’t understand.

Keeping how you’re feeling inside can make things feel even more difficult. Sharing how you feel by writing or drawing, or talking to someone you trust can help you feel more able to cope. You could try: 

• keeping a diary of what happens at home using the Mood Journal
• sharing your experiences with other children and young people on the message boards
• telling a friend about how you’re feeling 
• tell an adult you trust about the things you find most difficult
• look at our tips for how to cope when you’re angry or stressed
• create something in the Art box to express how you feel.

Sometimes when someone in your family has a mental health illness, it can be difficult to get the support you need. You might not get to eat regularly, get enough sleep or feel able to go to school. If you're not being looked after, you could be experiencing neglect. 

You deserve to be supported. Getting support can help to make sure everyone at home is safe. There are lots of ways to get support:

• ask other family members about ways they can help you or your family member
• speak to people in school about ways they can support you if you're struggling to concentrate
• get support from the young carers groups
• find out about how to contact your GP if you need to talk about your own mental health.

When someone starts acting differently or gets worse and it worries you, it can be difficult to know when you might need to do something. 

Every situation is different but having an emergency plan can help you to know what to do if something goes wrong. Your plan could include:

• who to call if something goes wrong, this could be your neighbour, GP, another family member or the police or an ambulance
• a safe place you can go if you need to leave your home – It’s important to make sure you know where you're going and that you can get there safely
• details of your family member’s mental health illness and their medication.

Having a plan can help when you’re feeling unsafe, or when you’re not sure what might be best for your family member. Remember you can always talk it through with a Childline counsellor.