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Supporting a family member with a mental health issue
Living with someone with a mental health condition can be tough sometimes. But there are ways to cope, and we're here to support you through it.
Living with someone with a mental health issue
When someone you live with has a mental health issue, it can feel like you need to be there to support them. You might:
- have to go to appointments with them
- have to look after them
- worry about other people's reactions
- struggle to concentrate in school or to see friends
- get scared about whether your family member is okay
- feel guilty about wanting to do more
- want more time for yourself.
Remember you don't have to cope alone, our counsellors are always here for you if you need someone to talk to.
Things to remember:
- if you're living with someone with a mental illness, you can always get support from Childline
- it's okay to make time for yourself and do things you enjoy or see friends
- finding out about your family member's mental illness can help you feel more in control
- it's normal to feel upset or angry sometimes
- you can get help from family, school or an adult you trust.
Tips for looking after yourself
Make time for yourself
Looking after someone can feel like a lot of work, but it's important to make time for you to relax or feel calm. Whatever's happening, you could:
- find a place in your home or somewhere safe nearby that's just for you
- take some time each day to do something you enjoy or find ways to relax
- setting aside some time each week to spend with your friends - it can help to plan things to look forward to even if you can't do them straight away
- try getting involved with things outside of home, like an activity at school or a club near where you live.
Learn more about their treatment
It can be scary when you don't understand how mental health is affecting your family member. Mental health issues can be complicated, and how they affect someone can change over time.
You could try asking an adult you trust about your family member’s mental health condition. They can help you to find out about your family member’s condition, their treatment and any medication they might be on.
If you go to an appointment with a family member you could make a list of questions you’d like to ask, or make notes about what’s been said. It’s okay to ask about anything you don’t understand.
Express how you're feeling
Keeping how you’re feeling inside can make things feel even more difficult. Sharing how you feel by writing or drawing, or talking to someone you trust can help you feel more able to cope. You could try:
- keeping a diary of what happens at home using a journal
- telling a friend about how you’re feeling
- tell an adult you trust about the things you find most difficult
- look at our tips for how to cope when you’re angry or stressed
- create something in the Art box to express how you feel.
Get support
Sometimes when someone in your family has a mental health illness, it can be difficult to get the support you need. You might not get to eat regularly, get enough sleep or feel able to go to school. If you're not being looked after, you could be experiencing neglect.
You deserve to be supported. Getting support can help to make sure everyone at home is safe. There are lots of ways to get support:
- ask other family members about ways they can help you or your family member
- speak to people in school about ways they can support you if you're struggling to concentrate
- get support from the young carers groups
- find out about how to contact your GP if you need to talk about your own mental health.
Make a plan for if things change
When someone starts acting differently or gets worse and it worries you, it can be difficult to know when you might need to do something.
Every situation is different but having an emergency plan can help you to know what to do if something goes wrong. Your plan could include:
- who to call if something goes wrong, this could be your neighbour, GP, another family member or the police or an ambulance
- a safe place you can go if you need to leave your home – It’s important to make sure you know where you're going and that you can get there safely
- details of your family member’s mental health illness and their medication.
Having a plan can help when you’re feeling unsafe, or when you’re not sure what might be best for your family member. Remember you can always talk it through with a Childline counsellor.
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Having a sibling with a mental health issue
Having a brother or sister with a mental health worry can affect you in lots of different ways.
You might:
- feel protective of them or like you’re responsible for them
- get embarrassed if you’re in public
- worry about how their mental health affects your family
- not get all of the support you need or feel like you’re not important
- feel angry about how they behave or that this has happened to them
- worry about getting unwell too.
Try our top tips to help you cope
1. Ask for time with your family away from your brother or sister. It's okay to want time alone with your family.
2. Make a plan of what to do if things get too much. If your brother or sister gets angry, loud or upset, it can help to know how to react. You could make a plan with your family on what you should do, and when to get someone else to help you.
3. Listen to your brother or sister. It can help to listen to how they are feeling. And knowing that you’re there to support them can help them feel more able to cope.
4. Speak to someone you trust. You always deserve to feel supported. Whether it’s with someone in your family, a friend or an adult you trust, it can help to talk.
Will they get better?
Lots of people with mental health conditions can feel better if they’re given the right support. But you're important too. If you’re ever worried about the future, it’s important to speak to an adult you trust.
Remember you can speak to a Childline counsellor about anything that might be happening.
Get more support
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