It’s healthy and natural to get angry sometimes. But there are ways to show it without hurting yourself or other people. If you’re struggling to control your behaviour, we can support you.

Why AM I angry?

Everybody gets angry sometimes. It can be because something’s happened, or you might feel angry without knowing why.

Anger can help to motivate us to change things, but it can also get out of control. There’s a big difference between feeling angry and being abusive or aggressive.

You might need help with your anger if you’re:

  • breaking or throwing things
  • hitting or physically hurting somebody else or yourself
  • shouting a lot at other people
  • deliberately trying to make other people angry 
  • getting angry all the time.

No matter what’s making you angry, there are ways to cope without hurting other people or yourself.

Top tips for dealing with anger

  • Count to 10. It can help to give you time to think and calm down.
  • Breathe slowly and deeply. In through your nose and out through your mouth.
  • Control your tone of voice. Keep it slow and quiet.
  • Use a stress ball. Or slowly make a fist and release your hands, over and over.
  • Think before you react. Wait an hour before you say or do anything.
  • Leave a situation. Walking away shows more strength than staying.

Dealing with your anger

Feeling angry doesn’t mean you have to be aggressive.

There are lots of ways to let your anger out.

  • Hit something soft Punch a pillow or screw up a piece of paper.
  • Do something else Do something completely different. Play a game, watch TV or count tiles on the wall. Anything that will keep your mind busy.
  • Burst bubble wrap Take your aggression out on a sheet of plastic.
  • Exercise Go for a run, play football or do yoga. Doing something that gets you out of breath can help you to calm down and feel happier.
  • Write down what you want to say Put everything down on paper or in an email, then destroy or delete it
  • Talk about it Tell someone you trust what’s made you angry to get another point of view.

Feeling less angry

When you’re feeling angry all the time it can have a big effect on you and the people around you. 

There are little things you can try every day to make it easier.

Start an anger diary

You might not always know what makes you angry.

Or you might find it hard to understand why something has affected you so much.

An anger diary can help you to work out what kinds of things make you angry so that you can avoid them in the future.

To write an anger diary:

  • each time something makes you angry, write down what was happening and how it made you feel in your mood journal
  • keep writing things down for a week or a month, then look through all of the different things that have happened
  • read what you’ve written and try to spot particular things that make you angry all the time It isn’t always easy to figure out exactly what makes you angry.

If you’re struggling it might help to show what you’ve written to an adult you trust. And remember, you can always talk to a Childline counsellor about it.