Building confidence and self-esteem

Whenever you wish that you had a certain quality, practise acting ‘as if’ you already had that quality. If you want to look more confident, practise walking with your head upright or wear a bright colour.

If you're shy, you could talk to someone at school who you haven't spoken to before. These things can seem scary at first. But after you’ve done it once, you’ll slowly gain the confidence to do it again and eventually, it will come naturally. Find out more about being assertive.

No matter how low you feel, try to find one thing that you like about yourself. It could be your hair, your sense of humour, your excellent taste in music, or your football skills. Once you’ve made that start, you can begin to think of more things and create a positive image of yourself. 

Why not post on the message board and see what others have written?

Sometimes the way you say something can make a big difference to how you feel, and what others think of you. Take a few moments before you answer a question - this can help you feel more confident about what you're saying.

If you are not sure, ask to repeat the question or say you don't understand. Don't pretend to know. Try using words like 'yes' and 'no' instead of 'sort of' and 'not really'. This can make you sound more clear and confident.

Try a new thing every day. It should be something that you wouldn’t usually do. It could be a small thing, from styling your hair differently to volunteering to read out loud in class or joining a team.

Each time you do something new, you are slowly stepping out of your comfort zone to making a fresh start. The rush you’ll get from making these changes will boost your confidence. Take a look at the hobbies and interests message board to see what new things other people are trying.

Music can have a powerful impact on us. Whenever you begin to doubt yourself, try listening to songs that make you feel positive about life and about yourself.

Check out our music and entertainment message board for ideas and to which songs other people like.

Look after yourself physically. It can really make you more confident. Eating healthily and doing exercise can make a big difference. Try not to eat a lot of processed food like crisps, chocolate and ready meals. And don’t drink too much coffee. Instead, choose fresh fruit and vegetables and drink plenty of water.

By looking after yourself this way, you will naturally feel better and have more energy. Try our tips for staying healthy.

Help a friend or do a little task without being asked. Phone someone who you haven't spoken to in a while. Bake a cake or cook a meal for someone. Offer to walk a neighbour's dog or volunteer for a charity.

Helping others can make you feel appreciated and valued. Find out more about helping a friend.

Taking the time to notice when things go well and realising when you're being too hard on yourself can improve your self-esteem and make you feel better.

Whenever something happens and you have a negative thought about yourself, ask yourself whether you've done anything wrong.

For example, if a teacher doesn't pick you, you might feel like you're not good enough. But it could also be that the teacher didn't realise you wanted to be picked. Or they wanted to give someone else a turn.

Even if you think you have done something wrong, try thinking about what you’d like to do differently next time.

Thinking of positive things can be difficult if you’re used to putting yourself down. But you can use the mood journal in your locker to help.

Try writing down your moods every day. Question your negative thoughts and try asking someone you trust about them. Make sure you write down anything positive you do, even if it’s small.