Finding Mother’s Day hard
Mother’s Day is usually a celebration for mums, carers and other relatives, and is a chance to show that we appreciate them.
There can be lots of reasons you might find Mother’s Day hard, and you’re not alone if you do. If you’re struggling to cope, then we’re here to support you.
Coping with loss
When you’ve lost your mum or someone close to you, Mother’s Day can bring up lots of difficult feelings. It can be tough seeing other people celebrating when you’re feeling so differently.
There might be lots of reminders about the person you’ve lost, or you might not have any memories or knowledge of who they were. It can be tough as well if you’re feeling the loss of someone close to you, but you have other people who you also want to celebrate.
It can be hard to know what you should or shouldn’t be doing. There’s no right or wrong way to spend Mother’s Day, but there are some things you can do which might help:
Talk about it
You don’t have to cope alone if you don’t want to. It can help to share what the day means to you with someone you care about, or with a Childline counsellor.
Share memories of your mother
Send people pictures or memories that make you happy, or talk about what you remember. If you want to learn more about the person you've lost, it might help to talk to the people who knew them.
Do something for yourself
Take time during the day to do something that you enjoy or that helps you to feel calm.
Let your feelings out
Write down how you’re feeling about the day, or do something creative to express yourself. Some people find it helps to write a letter to the person they’ve lost, saying how they’re feeling.
Do what feels right for you
Want to spend the day remembering someone close to you? You can do that. Want to completely ignore the day? That’s okay too. Do whatever helps you feel best and makes the day easiest.
Not seeing your mum
There are lots of reasons you might not be seeing your mum or someone you care about on Mother’s Day. It can be hard to know what to do if you want to see them but you’re not able to because you’re in care or something is stopping you.
Even if you’re not seeing someone you care about, there may be things you can do to help you cope. It’s important to talk about how you’re feeling to an adult you trust. Talking about it can help you to think about a plan for the day, and what to do when things are tough.
It’s not always easy to talk to the people in your life. Remember, you can talk to a Childline counsellor any time.
Arguments and not getting along
Lots of families have arguments. If you’ve not been getting on with your family or carers, Mother’s Day can be a chance to try and spend some time together.
It can help to try talking to your family about things you could do together that day, or about how you’ve been feeling at home. Bringing up your feelings can be tough sometimes, but we’ve got advice to help.
Some people who are going through a difficult time with their family or carers may not want to celebrate Mother's Day, and that’s okay too.
Even if you’re arguing, you should always feel safe and cared for at home, and it’s never okay for someone to hurt you. Whatever’s happening, you can always talk to us.
Low-budget gifts for Mother's Day
You don’t need to buy expensive gifts to celebrate Mother’s Day, and there are lots of things you can make or do to help celebrate the day:
- make a card, poem or picture to show what your relative or carer means to you
- help with jobs around your house
- bake a cake or make a nice meal for your relative or carer
- arrange some time for you both to go out together, to a park or somewhere nice