Emotional abuse

If you’re always being put down, ignored, or made to feel bad then that could be emotional abuse. Being hurt or abused is never okay, it’s not your fault, and we’re here to help.

You can talk to us.

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What is emotional abuse?

Emotional abuse isn’t always easy to spot. If you’re constantly being put down, ignored, or made to feel like you’re not good enough then that can be abuse. Abuse is never your fault, and you don’t deserve it.

Emotional abuse can include:

  • calling you names, putting you down, or doing things to make you feel bad about yourself
  • shouting at you, even if you haven't done anything wrong
  • ignoring you, leaving you out of things, or making you feel like you don’t belong
  • making you take responsibility for things you shouldn’t have to do until you’re older
  • controlling you or putting pressure on you to do things you’re not ready to do
  • treating you differently from your brothers or sisters
  • putting you in dangerous situations
  • seeing other people at home being violent, abusive or aggressive 
  • stopping you from having any friends.

If you’re going through abuse, you’re not alone and we can support you.

What is gaslighting?

Gaslighting is when someone tries to make you doubt yourself or your own judgement. Someone might tell you that things have happened that didn’t, or disagree with you about different details.

If someone is making you doubt yourself or your own judgement, it can help to speak to someone outside of the situation. This could be to an adult you trust or to us .

3 things to remember:

  1. Being abused is never your fault
  2. You're not alone and there are ways to get support
  3. Things can change over time

Words can hurt video: emotional abuse

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always screams at
me for
NOTHING
and calls me
names

Emotional abuse can be hard to spot but you're not alone. We're here to help.

Getting support with emotional abuse

It can help to get support, even when you’re not sure whether what’s happening is abuse. Talking about abuse isn’t always easy, but there are things you can do to help:

Whether you’re ready to speak to someone in your life or not, Childline is here for you. You can get support from Childline any time.

Coping after abuse

Emotional abuse can have a big effect on you, your confidence, and how you feel about yourself. You should never have to cope with these feelings alone though.

Getting help from Childline or other people you trust can help, and there are small things you can do help each day:

Talk about what's happened

What happened wasn’t your fault, and it can take time to start to feel differently. Talking about what’s happened to someone you trust and feel safe with is the best way to get help to cope. You should never have to manage alone.

Get more advice on asking for support.

Take care of yourself

Taking small steps every day to look after yourself is an important part of helping you to cope. It can help to work on a healthy routine that includes:

  • Getting enough sleep
  • Eating healthily
  • Keeping active and spending time outside
  • Making time to spend with people you feel safe with

There are lots of reasons you might struggle to make a healthy routine. If there are things that are stopping you, it’s important to get support. You could visit your doctor or get support from us any time.

Building your confidence and self-esteem

Abuse can have a big impact on your self-esteem. It can make you feel like you’re not good enough or like everything’s your fault when it’s not.

Building your confidence and self-esteem can take time, but you don’t have to do it alone. There are a few things it can help to focus on:

Helping someone else

It’s not always easy to tell whether something is abuse. If you’re worried about something you’ve seen, or someone is behaving differently to usual, then it’s good to support them.

There are lots of ways you can help someone when you’re worried. It’s important to:

  • let them know that you care and say if you’re worried about them
  • give them time to talk, and listen to them without judging of blaming them
  • help them get support from an adult, or if they’re not ready then help them speak to us
  • tell an adult you trust if you’re worried about someone’s safety, even if they don’t want you to
  • get support for yourself if you’re struggling.