Recently i’ve been struggling to do my work, as in i have no motivation at all and i have a “if its not perfect, why try?” sort of mindset. this happens mostly in English, i have a really good relationship with that teacher and i dont want to upset her. She’s asked if i’m okay but i got too scared to be honest so she doesnt really have a clue, just thinks i’m being difficult. This happened last year and got so bad that i barely did anything at all and i dont want to get to that point again. At the moment, i’m basically refusing to do classwork and i feel like such a burden. Ive also been feeling really burnt out recently and i got really upset the other day because a close friend turned 18, which means i can no longer see her at cadets. I think these factors may have contributed, but i don’t really know. I am in year 10 so things are getting serious, i got advice to just focus on doing good for GCSE’s but that just demotivates me even more, please help me.
Thank you
Sam
Hi there,
It’s natural to feel overwhelmed when you’re feeling the pressure of Year 10 while missing your close friend. Recognising when things are starting to get difficult again is a really positive first step to figuring out what can help in the future.
Lots of students worry about not doing well enough. Sometimes it can leave you feeling like it’s easier to not to try at all rather than risk not being perfect. When people say, “just focus on doing well”, it can sometimes make the goal feel even more intimidating. When you’re struggling to start, it’s important to focus on the small things you can do get motivated.
The most important thing you can do is to be honest. Sharing how you’re feeling with your teacher might feel scary, but it can help to remind yourself that she’s asked if you’re okay and is there to support you. Being open about all of this can help her to support you in a way that works for you. It can also help you to start to see your work differently. Your teacher can’t replace your friend, but it can be one way to keep feeling supported.
Getting started on your work isn’t always easy, but even doing small pieces can help motivate you to do more. Take one piece of work and break it down into smaller chunks, then try to just do a few things. For example, if you were doing maths homework, you could break it down into just doing 1-2 questions at a time. If that feels too much, you could break it down to being as small as opening a book or finding a pen. Focus on just one step at a time. Take breaks if you need to, just remember to time them and focus on doing something that helps you to feel good.
Wanting something to be perfect is an impossible goal. Nothing people create is perfect, but that’s okay. Instead of setting yourself the goal of being perfect, try to focus on whether what you did was better than it was before. Doing some work is always better than doing none. Sometimes, it can help to think about what you’d say to a friend if they asked you about their work. We’re often a lot kinder to other people than we are to other people, and it can help to treat yourself like you would a friend.
If it feels like things are becoming too much to handle on your own, reaching out for support is always an option. Remember, Childline counsellors are there to give you a space to talk about anything at all.
Take care,
Sam
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