
Relationship check-up
Use our check-up to help you think about your relationship with your partner.
Content warning: This page includes mentions of sexual and physical abuse
Take the check-up
All of your answers would apply to a healthy relationship!
Remember, all relationships are different and if there’s something that doesn’t feel right you can still talk to us.
Find out more about the different parts of a healthy relationship below:
Talking about your relationship
Feeling like you can’t talk to other people about your relationship can be a sign that something’s not right.
If you’re worried about what other people will say about your relationship or how they might react, it might help to speak to us instead. You can speak to Childline confidentially and without judgement.
Checking your phone and social media
It’s okay to want to share things with your partner, but you’ve always got the right to keep things private.
It’s not okay for your partner to pressure you to share your private social media, or to invade your privacy. If that’s happening, it can help to talk to us about it.
It’s natural to want to share things with your partner, but you’ve always got the right to keep things private.
Owing your partner
A gift should always be a gift, and it should never mean that you owe someone after.
If someone is making you feel like you owe them or they tell you that you do, then that’s not okay.
Getting support outside the relationship
A healthy relationship includes being able to spend time with other people, including getting support from anyone in your life.
If your relationship is stopping you from speaking or opening up to other people, then it make you isolated and stop you getting support when you need it.
Want support but not sure where to go? You can speak to us any time confidentially. Find out more about our confidentiality promise.
Saying what you think
Open communication is an important part of any relationship. Feeling like you can’t talk to your partner or say what you’re really thinking can sometimes mean your relationship isn’t healthy.
It can help to think about the reasons you’re not able to say things or what might happen if you did. Getting other perspectives about what’s happening can help as well, and you can speak to us any time.
Sex, consent, and sharing nudes
It’s never okay for someone to pressure, force or push you into doing something sexual. That includes sending nudes.
Consenting means you understand and agree to something without being pressured or feeling scared. Consent isn’t just about saying yes or no, and how you feel can change from one moment to the next. Find out more about consent.
If you’re unsure about something that’s happened in your relationship, we’ve got advice to help, you can also speak to us any time.
Being physically hurt
Physical abuse can include hitting, kicking, punching, pushing, hair-pulling. It can also include people throwing or breaking things.
Hurting you or threatening to hurt you is abuse, it’s wrong and you deserve support to help stop it.
If you’re worried about your immediate safety, you should always call 999. You can also speak to a Childline counsellor any time about what’s happening.
Being blamed for things
Part of being equal in a healthy relationship involves you both being able to take responsibility for things that happen. If your partner is constantly blaming you, then that’s not healthy.
Sometimes it can be hard to tell if something is healthy, unhealthy or abusive. It’s also not okay for your partner to try to manipulate or gaslight you.
Talking to someone outside of the situation can really help you to think about it and get a different perspective.
Not being equal to your partner
There are lots of reasons it might feel like your partner is in charge or gets their own way.
Being in a healthy relationship means that both of you have the same power to decide what you do, and that nobody has control over the other person.
Sometimes changes in power can build over time or be hard to work out. Remember, you can talk to us about what’s happening if you want a second opinion.
Feeling scared to leave
Whether you stay in a relationship should always be your choice. You should never feel like you have to stay in a relationship because of what might happen if you leave.
There are lots of things you might be scared of. You could be worried about something they’ll do or say, or how they’ll react.
It’s important to get support if you want to leave but you’re scared to. The Childline counsellors can talk to you about that any time.
Getting support with your relationship
If you’re worried about your relationship or something that’s happened, then you don’t have to deal with it alone.
We’ve got lots of advice about healthy and unhealthy relationships to help you think about yours. There are also lots of ways you can get support:
- talk to an adult you trust
- make a safety plan, or think about ways to leave
- speak to a Childline counsellor.
If you feel unsafe right now or it’s an emergency, you can always call 999.
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