Facebook - reporting bullying

It might not always feel like talking will be useful. But it is. It can really help.

Talk about what's on your mind. Telling someone about what’s happening helps you see your situation from a different perspective.

Think about who would be a good person to talk to. Normally the best listeners are people who you feel comfortable around.

You could talk to:

• a close friend
• an adult you trust
• a Childline counsellor.

You don't have to talk about everything. Just mentioning some of what's going on can really help. 

You might think you’ve done something wrong or that you deserve online bullying. But this isn’t true.

People who bully often do it because:

• they're jealous
• they want to feel powerful
• they're trying to hide something negative in their own lives like feeling bad about how they look or not having a happy home life.

If someone is spreading rumours about you online or posting hateful messages, it says more about them than about you. The bullying is not your fault, so don’t feel guilty because you’ve done nothing wrong.

If someone’s bullying you online, it’s completely normal to feel angry. Being angry is okay. Anger can stop you feeling defeated.

But always remember that anger isn’t the same as aggression. Being angry doesn’t mean posting an abusive message to the other person. Anger can become a problem if it makes you want to hurt someone, break something or hurt yourself.

Try to understand your anger. See what it looks like. Use our Art box and draw what it feels like to be angry. If you feel like it, you can share your drawing in the image gallery.

You can then use anger to make positive changes in your life. That might be joining our message boards. It could be finding a new place to go and make friends. Or, if you feel confident enough, you could use your anger to block or report someone who is sending you nasty comments. It’s all about taking the anger from the bullying, and turning the energy into something positive.

Trying something new is one of the best ways to rebuild your confidence. It could be anything – even little things, like eating lunch in a different place or putting your hand up in a lesson. You could try a new hobby or talk to someone you haven’t spoken to before. It may seem hard at first, but doing new things often gets easier the more you try it.

You might think that you can’t do something. But then when you try it, you find that actually you can do it. And that’s how confidence happens. 

If you find it hard to stop checking Facebook or Twitter for nasty messages, you could try something new on the internet for the first time.

Why not, play a game, start a new thread on our message boards or reply to a message which nobody has replied to yet? You could try writing a blog, article or short story for the first time – if you don’t want people to know you wrote it, you could publish it anonymously, with no name next to it.

Anybody can experience bullying. If you’re going through cyber bullying, it’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself.

It’s not always easy to let go of the blame though. Try thinking of the other person’s (or people’s) negativity as a hot potato. If they dump their nastiness on you, make sure you don’t hold onto it. You could do this by writing down your thoughts, doing some drawing or going outside (without your phone) to do some exercise or go for a walk. It's all about finding a way to make sure the bad feelings don't weigh you down.

A good way to get rid of the nastiness is to use our Art box. You could start by saying: “When I get angry, it looks like…” and then paint an image of how you feel. 

You could also use the Wall of Expression game. Write down how you feel and then smash it away. When you smash the wall or finish your drawing, try to think of it as letting go of the negativity.

You could also try getting a piece of paper and finishing this sentence: “I feel…because….” Keep writing it as many times as you can. When you can’t do it anymore, scrunch up the piece of paper and throw it away. Or you could keep it safe somewhere until you feel ready to throw it away. Remember, it’s all about learning to control bad feelings and how to get rid of them. So do what feels right for you.

If you’re getting nasty messages on your phone, you could release the negative feelings by texting someone to tell them how you feel. 

Being different is okay. We are all different. And that’s a positive thing.

Someone might be making you feel bad by sending you messages about being different. But being different is an amazing thing. What if there was only one colour in the world? Or one sport? Or one type of music? Life would be very boring. So don’t forget that our differences are important – they are what make you who you are.