Watching porn: Lewis' story

Lewis was 8 when he first started watching porn. He looked at videos at school with friends and spent a lot of time masturbating to porn. He wants you to know how porn can change the way you think and behave.

"it was a laugh"

"I was first aware of porn when I was 8 years old. Boys at my primary school would show me videos and photos on their phones. At playtimes we'd go out on the school field and watch them. It was a laugh and I wanted to join in.

"I was 8 or 9 when I first looked for porn on the internet. I typed in 'porn' and loads of things came up. I was shocked when I properly watched my first porn video by myself. I looked at the images through my fingers because I felt confused.

"After a while it started to feel normal to watch the videos and look at the photos and soon I started to enjoy looking for porn.

I hadn't known anything about sex before watching porn so learnt everything from there.

"By the time I was in secondary school I was accessing online porn multiple times a day. It was normal to watch videos and me and my friends would share them on our phones at lunch or on break times via Bluetooth.

"All the boys in my group were open about porn and no-one was embarrassed about watching it. I began watching it a lot at home in my room on my phone and was masturbating quite a lot as well.

"As well as streaming and downloading films and images to my phone, I was also watching a lot of adult TV channels. They were the ones where girls would chat on the phone to callers and do stuff. I knew all the channel numbers off by heart and knew which channels had the best girls.

"By the time I was 13 or 14 I had a list of things I really liked watching. I'd search for things like BBW (which stood for Big Busty Women) and teens.

"I hadn't known anything about sex before watching porn so learnt everything from there. I didn't understand about consent and how old people had to be to give consent. I also didn't understand things that would make you a criminal. I didn't know the positive and negative things about sex, all I knew was porn.

"I understand now that watching so much porn led me to have an unhealthy relationship with sex.

A couple of weeks ago one of my friends had a fight with his girlfriend because she wouldn't do things with him that he'd seen in porn films. He thought it was ok to force her to do it.

"Now I understand what a healthy sexual relationship is, and how porn can mislead you to believing other things. The biggest thing I've learnt is about consent. I have a girlfriend now, and even though we're not old enough to be in a legal sexual relationship, when the time comes, it will be consensual and what both of us want. I respect her and her decisions and that's what being in a healthy relationship is.

"A couple of weeks ago one of my friends had a fight with his girlfriend because she wouldn't do things with him that he'd seen in porn films. He thought it was ok to force her to do it and I got upset with him and defended his girlfriend. Now I understand the differences between porn sex and real sex.

"Looking back I can't believe how much time I wasted looking for and watching porn. If you'd have asked me back then, what the worst thing about watching porn is, I'd have said masturbating too much and getting cramp. Now I know it is how much it takes over your life and how much time you waste on it.

"I don't watch porn anymore now. I feel so much healthier by going out, playing football and going to the gym and I have a good relationship with my girlfriend. My message to young people is there's a lot more to life than porn and masturbating. Go out and enjoy it."

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