Sexual abuse: Katie's story
Katie was raped by her boyfriend on a number of occasions when she was 18. She was also sexually abused by her step-dad when she was younger. She hopes that her experience will encourage others to tell someone and get the help they need.
"It was little things at first"
"When I first got with my boyfriend, we got on really well and we were happy together. But gradually his behaviour started to change.
"It was little things at first like him trying to control what I wore and what I did. He started to ask me where I was going and who I was speaking to.
"He would get mad at me for talking to boys, even if they were his friends. If I straightened my hair he'd ask who I was making the effort for.
"He became verbally aggressive with me too and would shout 'You won't find anyone else. No-one else will have you'. He gradually became more violent towards me as well.
"It started out with him pushing or shoving me but then one day he threw my head into a brick wall. After that he would lay into me three or four times a week.
"I was sexually abused by my step-dad when I was younger and he started to use that against me. He said 'If you can have sex with your step-dad you can have sex with me'. He made it out that I had wanted my step-dad to do those things to me.
"He said I was turning him down.
"One night when we'd been out he thought that I had been looking at another guy. I hadn't but he didn't believe me. While we were walking home he dragged me off and raped me.
"I was shocked but he just brushed it off as though it was normal. It made me feel like rubbish but I stayed with him.
"Over the next few months he raped me a few more times. The attacks would come out of nowhere and afterwards he would make out he hadn't done anything wrong because I was his girlfriend.
"I knew that I didn't want him to do it to me but I was trapped with him. We lived together and he would lock me in so that I couldn't get away from him. Eventually I managed to escape from him and I ended the relationship.
"People should look out for the signs of sexual abuse and also reassure young people that they can talk to someone as it's not acceptable.
"If any young people are being forced to have sex then I would urge them to contact Childline to get the help they need to get out of the situation."
if you need support, we're here
If you're worried about anything, big or small, we can help.
5 reasons to contact us:
- we're not easily shocked by what you tell us
- you don't have to go into detail if you don't want to
- we'll never judge you
- talking to us is confidential
- we'll listen and support you in making the situation better.