Ask Sam letter


To Sam

What do I do if suicidal on Christmas?

hi sam i hope your doing ok. so I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts for a few months now. im safe n stuff the thoughts still exhaust me. to help and to prevent myself from self harming i talk to my friend .he is wonderful and so sweet but i don’t want to ruin his Christmas. I’ve tried lots of coping mechanisms and nothing has really worked. im not sure what to do. thank you for reading

Ask Sam


Hi there,

It can be tough coping with self-harm and thoughts of suicide, and Christmas can make that feel even more complicated. Changes in routine, having to spend time with family and losing your regular support can all add to the feeling of things getting too much.

It can help to create a plan for when things start getting hard to cope with, whether that’s at Christmas, late in the evenings, or other times when things get difficult. Having a plan can help to remind you of the different things you can try or the people you can talk to. At Childline, we sometimes call this a mental health first aid kit.

A mental health first aid kit includes things you can do that distract you, help you to feel relaxed, reminds you of things that have helped in the past, and includes anyone you feel able to talk to. You mentioned how things haven’t worked in the past, and that can feel really frustrating sometimes. It can help to remember that there are things that might work sometimes and not others, and that it’s important to keep trying things that may work for you. If you’re not sure where to start, there are hundreds of ideas on our self-harm coping techniques page, as well as lots of ideas in the coping kit.

Making a mental health first aid kit for times like Christmas can take time, but it’s always okay to ask someone to help you. It might help to ask your friend or someone you trust to make it with you, and you can get a template and tips to help make it on our website. It might also help to make a list of anything you’re looking forward to over the holidays, even if it’s small, to help give you times to look forward to in the future.

It can be hard when you’ve lost a friend or you don’t have your usual support, but it can help to remember that even over Christmas, you’re not alone. Childline’s here throughout the holidays to speak to. You can talk to a counsellor online or on the phone 24 hours a day. Lots of young people also share tips and advice on how they’re coping with self-harm on our message boards, our anonymous community where you can share how you’re feeling with others who are going through the same thing.

Suicidal feelings are something to take really seriously. If you’re having thoughts of ending your life, or it’s getting harder to see the future, then it’s important to get support. In an emergency or if you think you’re going to hurt yourself, it’s important to always call 999. It’s also okay to speak to Childline, your doctor, or to an adult you trust about how you’re feeling. It might help to think over Christmas about what might help you visit the doctor. We’ve got advice to help you cope with them between now and new year, and advice on visiting your doctor for after as well.

Take care,


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