Ask Sam letter


To Sam

How can I be happy all the time?

Hi Sam, Just to let you know i need help with feelings because one day i will be all happy and the next im down. So i need some advise on how to be happy all the time?? if possible i know your very busy but if you can help me i would like it very much. ​

Ask Sam


Hi there,

How you’re feeling can change from moment to moment and day to day. You might experience lots of different emotions over a short period of time and sometimes it’s difficult to know what’s making you feel a certain way.

How you feel is influenced by many things - like what’s happening around you, your relationships with other people, your expectations and how you feel about yourself. Most people feel happy when things are going well or they feel confident, relaxed and cared about. Helping other people and being kind can also make you feel good about yourself. Supporting others can be rewarding and give you a sense of purpose making you feel happier.

It’s great to want to feel happy as often as you can but it’s important to remember that it’s not possible to be happy all the time. If you never felt angry or hurt then you wouldn’t have something to compare feeling happy to. Accepting how you feel about a situation, asking for help or talking about how it’s affecting you are all ways to help you to feel calmer and possibly happier in the long run.

You can learn how to be happier more of the time by actively looking for positive things and being thankful for what you already have. Being happy isn’t all about having everything you want, often it’s more about noticing what’s already good in your life and appreciating it more so you change the focus of your attention.

How you feel isn’t dependant on other people. You can be kind to yourself by allowing yourself to make mistakes, not comparing yourself to other people and not putting too much pressure on yourself. That way, you can have a positive influence on how you feel and remember to always congratulate yourself for doing your best.

Thank you for your letter. If you want to talk more about this our counsellors are there for you. You can also find support from other young people sharing their experience by posting on our message boards.

Take care


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