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To Sam

Pressure about doing piano

Hi Sam

i have been doing piano for a couple of years now but I am really bord of it and music isn't really my passion

this wouldn't be an issue if I didn't have a music obsessed father( grade 8 in piano+ trumbone) and a mother that agrees with his every word.

i don't know how to tell him I want to give it up because my parents think of me as some sort of lazy giver-upper when I'm not, they pressured into playing 5 sports only 3 of which I actually like.

i can't do this any more but I am scared to say because after previously asking my parents argued against me and still have a negactive view on me. It is not them that chooses my choises and I am sick of it

please give me advise on how to conquer this problem

Ask Sam


Hi there,

If a parent puts a lot of pressure on you to take up certain hobbies it can make you feel trapped. It can be difficult knowing how to tell parents something they might not want to hear, and this can cause you even more anxiety. It's always okay for you to say how you feel, though you should think about what you want to say before you have any difficult conversations.

Parents will sometimes make their children do things they don't want to do. For example when someone is very young a parent might make their child take medicine, because they know it will make them better. As their children grow up and start to understand for themselves what they want to do, this can cause some problems.

It's okay for you to not like music or the same hobbies your parents have. Everyone is an individual and is unique. Get support and advice on making decisions. It would be important to show your parents what you're really interested in. If there are hobbies or skills you want to learn then telling them about this might make it easier for them to accept you don't like music.

When you choose to talk to them again it's important that you help them understand your point of view and how this situation is making you feel. It can also really make a difference to try to understand your parent's point of view. If you were to ask them why your music is important to them, it might help you come to an agreement about how you spend your time.

I know for a lot of people there is the extra pressure of feeling like they are disappointing parents if they drop a hobby that their parents like them doing. What's important in the end is that hobbies are supposed to be fun and bring you happiness. If a hobby is making you unhappy it's always worth talking about and making some changes.

I hope this helps you, but if you need to talk more then you can always talk to a counsellor.

Thanks for sending this letter. Take care.


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