Ask Sam letter


To Sam

Missing school

My friends aren't going to be coming to my secondary school and i have been really upset. My mum also doesn't let me meet up with anyone almost all the time and I don't have a phone yet. I think I just need some support as I have been with them since year 1 and my mum doesn't get it.

Ask Sam


Hi there,

When you move to secondary school, it can cause you to feel mixed emotions. It can be especially difficult if your friends aren’t going to the same school.

Moving to secondary school can be a big change for lots of different reasons. From being in a new location, to learning new subjects, having new teachers, to new routines and meeting lots of new people.

You may move to secondary schools with people you already know, but sometimes you can move to a new school without knowing anyone. This can often feel more difficult if your friends are going to the same school together.

When you’re no longer going to the same school, you might worry this means it’s the end of the friendship or your friendships will change.

If a friendship does end, it can be difficult and it’s normal to feel emotions similar to grief. You might feel sad, angry, confused, or wonder why this happened. Sometimes adults in your life may not properly understand how much these friendships mean to you, which can be frustrating.

However, just because you’ll no longer see your friends as often doesn’t mean the friendship will end. Over time friendships can change, this can be because people don’t see each other as much, but it can mainly be because over time people change and so their friendship changes too. Sometimes people can think of change as only a bad thing, but change can also mean new opportunities too.

Going to secondary school with new people means it’s a chance to make new friends on top of the friends you have in primary school. For some people they like to have different groups of friends rather than just one.

Most people starting secondary school will feel the same and likely also feel anxious. But your teachers should help you settle and make sure you don’t feel lonely. They can also offer support with the changes that come in a new school.

If you want to try to keep in touch with your primary school friends, you can speak to your parent about using their phone to keep in contact with your friends. As you get older your parents also might give you more ways to meet up with your friends too. Other options to keeping in touch could be sending each other emails or to even keep in touch by sending and receiving letters in the post.

Talking to other young people on Childline’s message boards can be a good way to have support and let you find out how others coped in similar situations. You can also always speak to a Childline counsellor about how you’re feeling too.

Take care,


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