So for context my friend is pretty suicidal and gets really stressed, he asked me one day if i wouldnt mind holding his hand to calm him down. I am a female, he doesnt mean it in a weird way but im not comfortable with doing it.
im kind of scared of physical contact not scared just like i feel like they are going to attack me when they are that close, and it is just something i dont see myself doing with someone i dont romantically love so its not something i want to do.
Sadly i dont know how to say no to people and i already want him to feel better and not wnd his life so i just agreed, i told him we can only hold hands if it is in like a private area but to be honest i dont want to in general im scared of getting bullied by others and i dont like him like that even if he doesnt mean it like that and physical contact as i said is just not for me, what should i do?
Sam
Hi there,
Wanting to help someone you care about is natural, but it should never come at the cost of your own boundaries or comfort.
Not everyone feels okay with physical contact, and that’s completely valid. Saying you don’t feel comfortable holding hands doesn’t mean you’re not supporting your friend. There are lots of other ways to support them. It can help to start by explaining how you feel about handholding, so your friend can understand your feelings. You could then talk about other things that might help.
There are many ways to support someone. If your friend needs something to hold, you could keep something like a soft toy, stress ball or fidget spinner for them. You can also be there for them by listening, talking things through or giving a distraction.
A good friend should never intentionally do something to make you feel uncomfortable. If you’re struggling to express what you want, Childline have tips and advice on how to be assertive. It’s also okay to get support for yourself if things carry on.
Helping a friend to get support can make a big difference. Remember, your friend can always get support from Childline or another trusted adult. This can make a big difference, especially when someone is feeling suicidal.
If a friend is talking about suicide or self-harm, it’s okay to involve an adult you trust any time you’re worried. Remember, keeping someone safe matters more than keeping a secret.
Take care,
Sam
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