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Sexuality problems

hi sam,this is my first time writing a letter . im a 14 yo boy and im currently in a relationship with a girl who i think i actually love and ive been going out with her for a year now,but ive been struggling with my sexuality for a long time now since i was about 11 or 12 and now i definetly know im bisexual but havent told anyone. the problem is i think i like another boy who i think has a crush on me and i really dont know what to do.i dont want to hurt my girlfriends feelings by breaking up with her and im really stuck atm . also will this letter be anonymous i really dont want anyone to know who sent this .

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Sexual identity is all about who you feel most attracted to, and this takes time to discover. Everyone is different. For some people, they know from a very young age. For others, it may not be that simple.

There are lots of common terms used to describe sexuality. Feeling emotionally and physically attracted to both sexes is usually called being bisexual.

Relationships can also be confusing, especially if you really like the person you’re with but are having thoughts around someone else too.

It’s important to think about what you think is the right thing to do. This may mean hurting someone in the process, but if you’re being honest and showing respect, then you can’t help how someone else feels.

Making the decision about breaking up with someone is tough. Try not to let the other person’s feelings affect your decision. You can only control what you say and do, not anyone else.

It’s important that you feel you’re supported during this time. This is a lot for one person to try to deal with on their own.

It might be an idea to think about what would happen if you were to tell your girlfriend that things don’t feel quite right. Maybe you could plan what you want to say.

Coming out is when you tell people about your sexuality. You don’t have to tell anyone if you don’t want to, but it’s not something you should have to hide either.

Only you can decide when to come out to people. There is no right or wrong time.

If you were to break up with your girlfriend and start a same-sex relationship, it would be good to feel prepared for these conversations.

It might help to talk to someone you trust. Or stay in touch with us while you make your decision. Our counsellors are here to listen and support you whenever you feel you need to talk.

Take care,

Sam

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