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To Sam

My best friend secretly recorded me naked

i dont know if this is the right place i go (its meant for other problems) but the other night i signed into my friends snapchat account without thinking anything of it and i noticed about 2 videos, one of me getting changed where you can see my breasts and as shes my best friend i felt nothing bad as to let her in the bathroom as i shower as she didnt want to sit in my bedroom alone so i didnt care but little did i know she managed to record and get my bottom half in it. i deleted both the videos as you would obviously and a sticker (like a cut out of it) on a snap saying “dont say anything” and i was mortified. not only did my best friend record my body, she sent it to someone.. i checked her messages between her and this girl and i dont know if this other girl screenshotted or not. i deleted there chats as they were laughing about it and making fun of my body, i feel so violated as i cant even get into my shower with a swimming costume on and just feel so wrong, i have no proof of it now so i dont want to tell my mum as this girl again is my best friend and i feel like she WILL spread the videos and tell everyone alot of my personal information. i needed to let this off my chest and see what options i have to protect my safety.

Ask Sam

Sam

Hi there,

Recording someone undressing or taking photos under their clothes without their consent is illegal. It's also illegal if you’re under 18 to make videos or take photos of you naked and share it with others. Both are very serious crimes and you would be within your rights to tell the police about it, if you wanted. You may find this a difficult decision to make as  the person who did this to you is your best friend, so you could have a lot of complicated feelings.

The Voyeurism (Offences) Act 2019 is a relatively new law that is also known as the "upskirting" law. It was made to stop someone taking photos under people's clothes without them realising. It's possible your friend has broken this law by filming you naked when you didn't consent to that. Taking this to the police would be a big step, and I know that it would come with a lot of anxiety. If your main worry about telling someone is that she would spread the videos further, then involving the police might help. If your friend has sent these videos to another person, the police can ensure the copies on their device are deleted too.

Friends are not supposed to do things to hurt each other. What she has done is not okay in any situation but because she is your friend she has betrayed your trust. It might be difficult to think of it this way but that's what's happened and it's wrong.

You have the choice about what to do next - you don't have to tell the police or confront her but when making your decision it's important to put your feelings first. This also means thinking about how you have been affected. This has had an effect on you if you can't shower without wearing a swimming costume. You may need help to come to terms with what's happened and put it behind you. This could mean facing what's happened now and either confronting your friend, telling an adult you trust or telling the police. If you do nothing, you’re the only one continuing to suffer, which isn't fair.

If you want to talk to a Childline counsellor first, we can keep it confidential and the counsellor won't judge you. You can talk online or on the phone - whichever you find easier.

I hope this has helped, I'm glad you decided to share this with me.

Take care.

Sam

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