Ask Sam letter


To Sam


Since my parents found out I lost my virginity I've had to go to some health clinics because of unprotected sex which I was not forced into, I've been called names like slut and slapper from them and it makes me so angry and upset that they say things I accidentally broke the tv because I was upset that thats what my parents think of me, I still talk to the guy but we just remain friends for the time being as we both have jobs to find and I go back to college in September so I'm not ready for all that right now at the moment its just stressful

Ask Sam


Hi there,

Deciding to have sex for the first time is sometimes called losing your virginity. It’s your body and your decision when you feel ready for sex and it’s important you don’t feel forced or pressured in any way. There’s no shame whether you’ve lost your virginity or not.

Being called names is a type of emotional abuse: it’s not okay your parents are calling you these names.  You have the right to always be treated with respect and be kept safe and supported.I. Having sex doesn’t make you a bad person and is a decision you should get to make.

Having unprotected sex puts you at risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). Using contraception reduces the risk of unwanted pregnancy and condoms also help protect you from STI’s. Sexual health clinics offer free and confidential advice, contraception and pregnancy and STI testing. You don’t have to tell anyone about going to the clinic and they won’t tell your parents or your doctor without your permission.

It’s natural to feel angry when you feel you’re being treated badly or unfairly. Sometimes the things we do when we’re angry can make the situation worse. It can be good to walk away and go into another room to try and calm down before reacting. It can help to release your anger by doing something physical like punching a pillow or going for a walk or run.

When things feel stressful it can help to talk about what’s happening and how you’re feeling. Childline counsellors are there to listen and you can contact them anytime you want to talk.

Thank you for your letter.

Take care.


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