Self-harm coping techniques

Self-harm can feel like a way of dealing with difficult feelings. But we can help you find other ways to cope and feel better. 
Trigger warning: this page contains information about self-harm which may bring up difficult feelings.

Coping with self-harm at night

Dealing with feelings about self-harm at night can be really difficult - especially if you're by yourself and there's less to distract you.

But we've got lots of advice and tips to help you cope and feel better when it's night time. Take a look at some of the ideas below and let us know what worked for you. 

You can always email one of our counsellors and they'll reply within 24 hours. 

Why not try...

Drawing a butterfly where you'd normally hurt yourself. Use it to remind yourself not to self-harm and to keep trying.

If you do self-harm, you can wash it off and start again. But if you manage to keep going until it fades, it means the butterfly has flown away.

Things you can try right now: 

  • Write difficult feelings on the Wall of expression and watch them crumble away
  • Allow yourself to cry if you feel sad or frustrated
  • Close your eyes and take 10 deep, slow and relaxing breaths
  • Use the Art box or a letter to express how you feel
  • Listen to relaxing or happy music
  • List 3 things you like about yourself.

Coping tips from you

Girl listening to music

  • "All I can say is get a stress ball. They’re really good for punching and taking your anger out on them. also, if you feel terrible, try screaming into your pillow- this seems to help but use a couple of pillows to stop the sound."

  • "Another thing, don't be afraid to cry. Crying shows pain just as much as self-harm, but it's less dangerous."
  • "I also self-harm, and a main reason for anyone to is that they're bottling up their feelings, like me. I highly recommend finding a hobby, whether it be video games, art, poetry or anything else and express your feelings through that."

What to do if you're feeling:

How can I help a friend who self-harms?

Finding out that someone you care about is self-harming can leave you feeling worried, confused and a bit helpless. But many young people who self-harm get help by talking to someone. There are things you can do to help:

  • remember that it may have been really difficult for them to have told you about self-harming, so try not to judge them
  • listen to how they feel—sometimes just being there for your friend may be what they need
  • encourage them to get support with how they're feeling
  • look after yourself and make sure that you get support as well.

Remember that Childline counsellors are here to listen whenever you or your friend needs to talk.