Hi Sam. Lately I’ve been feeling like nobody likes me and I don’t have anyone I feel I can talk to. I don’t want to talk to my parents because they will just say it’s not that bad and just to forget it like it’s no big deal and I know they there are people who have worse problems than me but it feels huge to me. I have 2 close friends and i dont want to tell the first one because he would probably just call me weak and throw me on the ground. He’s much bigger than me and i dont want to put weight on his shoulders because his parents are getting divorced which must be really hard for him. My other close friend I feel like i spend too much time with and dont give him enough time to himself and his other friends but i hate it when i dont spend time with him because i just feel so sad and alone. I feel like anyone else i dont really trust not to share this.
Sam
Hi there,
Talking about your feelings can be hard, especially if you’re worried about being judged or you think that no one else will understand. Trying to manage difficult things by yourself can make you feel alone and unsure what to do.
It’s natural to be scared that someone is going to react negatively when you share something with them. Nobody wants to be told that their worries aren’t important. I can’t know how your parents will react but it’s important to make sure that the fear of what might happen isn’t stopping you from trying.
People don’t always know how to respond when you share how you’re feeling. They might not know what to say straight away. They might think they’re helping by telling you your problem isn’t a big deal. Whatever their reaction, remember that your emotions are important and it’s okay to feel however you are feeling. Childline has lots of information about how to cope with how you feel – like if you feel sad or lonely.
No one should ever call you weak, try to physically overpower you or criticise your feelings. You can’t help how you feel – and if something is upsetting or worrying you then it’s important they take it seriously. If the people closest to you don’t seem to give you the support you need it’s okay to ask someone else for help instead.
Your friends, family or whoever you speak to about this should listen and take what you say seriously. If they respond unkindly, you could tell them you appreciate them listening but what they’ve said hasn’t helped. Then let them know what you’d find more supportive. You could ask them to listen without trying to solve things or to give you ideas about what you could do. If it feels hard to say it face-to-face you could send them a message or write them a note. Childline has advice about how to start a difficult conversation.
Sometimes you might want to protect someone else by not sharing your problems and feelings with them or you could feel worried that your friendship would change if you did. People who care and want to help aren’t always able to, especially when they’re having a tough time themselves. If you’re worried you could decide to talk to someone else and ask for their support. You could choose another friend, someone who’s helped you in the past or an aunt, grandparent or teacher. Childline has advice about how to talk about your worries with an adult you trust.
It’s always okay to contact a counsellor at Childline. They can help you choose who to speak to about your worries, and can help you practice starting difficult conversations. You could also ask for advice from other young people on Childline’s message boards – others might have ideas to help you cope if they’ve felt something similar.
I’m glad you wrote to me about this and I hope this letter has helped.
Take care,
Sam
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