Hi there,

Sometimes people can find themselves drawn to someone in a way they didn’t expect. That can feel especially confusing when it challenges things you’ve believed in the past. Your sexuality and who you’re attracted to isn’t something you can choose, but it can leave you feeling unsure when you’re feeling attracted to someone in a way you haven’t before.

It can be helpful to take some time to reflect where your earlier beliefs came from and whether they still feel true now. It’s natural for beliefs and feelings to grow over time, and it’s important to remember that it is okay to not have all the answers right away. Thinking about your own beliefs can make it easier to think about whether you want to share how you feel about this girl.

It can feel difficult sharing how you feel about someone else when it may surprise your friends or family. Worrying about how others might respond can make people feel stuck, and it’s something that lots of young people talk to Childline about.

There’s no right or wrong way to open up about these feelings. It can help to think about the people you feel closest to and trust, and whether they’d feel safe to talk to first. Sometimes people find it helps to talk about things generally at first. For example, you could talk about this girl in more general way to see how they react.

You’ve not mentioned whether you’ve told this girl how you feel or whether you want to. If you choose to, it can help to think about what she would want and how you could express your feelings to her. We’ve got advice on asking someone out, but it can also be helpful to learn more about other people’s experiences first, including those who are LGBTQ+. Learning about other people’s perspectives can help you to understand how your actions affect them.

Childline counsellors are here to give anyone a space to be heard and listened to without any judgement.

Take care,

Sam