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To Sam

social anxiety

Hi idk how to write letters im sorry,

When I go to school I always try to talk to people who talk to me, but I can't say anything back. I get really nervous and feel sick when I might get picked to speak, it happens outside of school too it's just more in school. I also sometimes hurt myself but idk if it'd be classed as self harm. (Because of the social situations and other reasons)

Ask Sam


Hi there,

It can sometimes be hard to feel confident and have things to say when people talk to you. It can help to reflect on things you could have said when you have found it difficult to say something back. That may help you find the right things to say the next time someone starts chatting to you. Our top tips for making friends page also has advice on things you can talk about with other people. Our message boards can also be a good place to practice chatting without the pressure of having to come up with something to say so quickly. You may find with practice that you will start to find it easier to chat with other people.

It's not unusual to feel really nervous about being picked to speak in front of class. It can feel uncomfortable to be the centre of attention and to feel worried about making a mistake in front of everyone. It’s natural for many young people to be worried about what other people think about them and to judge themselves more harshly than other people do. Think about a time when somebody else made a mistake when they were asked to speak in front of everyone, did you judge them as harshly as you would have judged yourself if you made that mistake?  Probably not and most people probably wouldn’t care that much if you made a mistake. The building confidence page also has things you can try that may be able to help you feel more comfortable in these situations.

Self-harm is when someone hurts themselves on purpose. It’s often a way of coping with difficult thoughts and feelings, but it is important to know that there are other safe ways to cope with difficult thoughts and feelings. It can be helpful to reflect on what’s making you feel this way. Talking through these feelings can really help and the Childline counsellors are always here to listen to you. Being aware of things and times that make you feel that you want to self-harm can help and our self-harm coping techniques page also has different things you can try to help you manage your urges to self-harm.

Hope this helps you.

Take care,


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