Ask Sam letter

Hi there,

Emotional abuse can be lots of things. It might be that someone is calling you names, putting you down, treating you differently or threatening to hurt you - even if they never physically do. All of these are wrong and can also be called bullying, which is a form of emotional abuse.

Home should be a safe place for you to be. It's important for you to feel supported and able to relax when you’re there. If a parent or someone else you live with is threatening you then this could also be emotional abuse. When someone deliberately makes you feel sad, scared or down it's not okay. You don't have to keep this to yourself and it's okay to want it to stop.

Some people feel like it’s hard to speak up about emotional abuse because there might not be any physical signs that it's happening. You might worry that you’re over reacting or that you won't be believed. These feelings shouldn't stop you from telling someone - it's always okay to talk about what’s happening to you. Sometimes an abuser might tell you that nobody is going to believe you, but try not to listen to what they’re saying as it's not true.

Coping with emotional abuse is difficult because it can knock your confidence and make you feel bad about yourself. When you feel down it can be harder to pull yourself up again, so you may need some help. Talk to friends and people who you trust. You don't have to tell them everything until you're ready, but even just chatting about everyday things can remind you that not everyone is a bully or abusive.

Keep a diary and make a note anytime you’re threatened. If in the future you want to talk to someone like a social worker, you can show them the diary and they'll be able to see what things have been like for you.

If you need support, Childline is here for you. You can write down everything you're feeling and what's happening in your mood journal, as well as share your experience with other young people on the message boards.

Thanks for your letter.

Take care.

Sam